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Wont You Take Me To Fungi Town


Ravnica was a very successful block. Coming on the heels of a disappointing and confusing Kamigawa block, Ravnica block served as a wonderful palette cleanser that gave Standard the mana fixing it needed to attempt very ambitious color combinations and gave us powerful spells like Lightning Helix, Putrefy, and Glare of Subdual. We made a Warp World deck work in Standard, we had Bob and Ghost Dad and . . .  Giant Solifuge? It was a great time to be a Magic player, truly. Ravnica block limited taught me to be greedy in my mana-base construction, to take Signets early and often, that pack 1 wasn’t too early to start thinking about what to take in pack 3. Flavor-wise, Ravnica was a hit, pitting 10 powerful guilds against each other in a power struggle surrounding a shaky truce and giving us iconic Legends like Szadek, Tolsimir and Teysa. It was no surprise to anyone that when the decision was made to return to this rich, iconic and powerful block, all anyone talked about for 2 years was #^%&ing Fblthp.

“When’s Fblthp going to get his own planeswalker card?” reddit asked, causing a thin rivulet of blood to trickle out of the ear of everyone who worked to put the set together (probably, I wasn’t there). For some people, flavor text is invisible but Fblthp proves that to some people, it’s everything and whether or not you enjoy an entire block full of rich, flavorful storytelling, worldbuilding and careful story planning to be overshadowed by a one-eyed meme monster, sometimes that happens.

So what are people excited about now that we’re returning to Magic’s iconic “home” plane of Dominaria? Is it the sagas, detailing the most important events in the history of the plane from the great volcanic awakening that birthed the ghitu hordes to the cataclysmic Ice Age that covered the plane in an eternal winter and caused us all to lust after Jester's Cap and Balduvian Horde, one of which seems pretty appropriate at common these days? Is it Jodah, long-referenced and encapsulated in a card for the first time? Is it Jhoira, long-awaited Izzet Artificer and heir to the important mantle of Captain of the Weatherlight? Is it Danitha, the gallant knight keeping the memory and namesake of brave and altruistic Gerrard alive? Is it Sisay’s own heir, Shanna? You must be new to the internet. Nah, fam — this block is all about this drippy boi.

Ripped from that episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force where they didn’t take out their garbage and ended up birthing a penicillin monster, we have Slimefoot, a Fungal stowaway on whose backstory I imagine someone spent the bulk of an afternoon. When you think about it, Slimefoot is a fungus-covered freeloader who spends all of its time in the dark, making it the perfect mascot for the online Magic community. If you think my tone implies I’m not all about taking a slime-covered train to fungi town, you made a sad mistake. I’m all in on team Slimefoot and I’m going to keep using gender-neutral pronouns because I don’t know whether Slimefoot is a heterolithic or homolithic reproducer and I don’t know enough about how plasmogamic reproduction works or even what it is. I know most of the internet thinks Slimefoot is a dude but those same people couldn’t handle female Ghostbusters. Slimefoot is a “they” as far as I am concerned — a whole colony of ‘shrooms ready to take you on all kinds of flying trips. Slimefoot is also a really dirt-cheap Legendary creature with two really good abilities, components of an infinite loop built in and more flavor than an actual 5-foot-tall clump of mushrooms. Are we going to get done building this deck and wish we’d gone with Ghave? Probably not because Ghave doesn’t dome them. I’ll miss out on Anointed Procession, but I’ll get over it.

How do we make a 75% Slimefoot list? I’m not sure what would differentiate our list from a stock-ish list and I’m not sure that’s a problem. I sort of like the fake self Q and A I did last week so I’ll try that again and see if it sparks any ideas about how to make this seem less a stock build and more something uniquely 75%. Also, if I can’t come up with anything unique, just know that every possible build of Slimefoot except one that is bad on purpose is likely to be 75%. Most of the deck is contained in the commander and keeping it alive long enough to dome them is our one basic job.

Q: Which 75% build path will I be pursuing?

A: Ermmm . . .  I don’t really plan to limit myself at all to the extent that I need to impose limitations or skew the deck toward inconsistency because it’s too powerful. I’m sort of going to try and go all-in on doming them with Slimey’s first ability and that is sort of fragile, makes probably 15% of my deck dead draws if I can’t keep Slimey on the board and requires a lot of redundant combo pieces or tutors. I think I’ll be able to beat just about anyone if I get lucky, however, considering a token or ability doubler and an Ashnod's Altar ends the game. I can try and come up with a second way to win, probably Triumph of the Hordes or Sprout Swarm / Paradox Engine. If I had to guess, I would say “Do what you need to do to protect the execution of your strategy” is going to factor in the most here.

I can’t think of any more questions to pretend to ask myself that I haven’t already addressed. I’m not likely to impose any additional limitations on top of being a bit of a glass cannon and I think having some non-Slimefoot ways to win will be key as well as trying to make my fragile combo less fragile. This may be the second week in a row that I jam Cadaverous Bloom in a deck just to make it able to go off explosively.

I also want to be able to go sort of wide with the deck, saccing the team as a last resort if I don’t have the pieces of the combo in place. That way I’m not drawing and tutoring, waiting for a token doubler and an altar when I can be productive instead. I think appearing to be a durdly, fungus-based durdle deck full of saproling tokens that can windmill a combo piece and end the game is worth playing and it’s pretty 75% to have an “oops, I win” combo in the deck if we’re not running tutors like we tend not to. I think that’s enough preamble, don’t you? Prepare to be hit with a decklist that will have you making up stories about all of the times you stowed away.

Decimator of the Provinces
This seems like a fine, middle-of-the road build but one that was constructed with the 75% principles we discussed up top. There are some ways we can lean the build to suit your playstyle, as always.

If you want to focus more on going wide, Doubling Season, Craterhoof Behemoth, and cards like Second Harvest and Scatter the Seeds are tech. You can even jam cards like Decimator of the Provinces and Overrun, and don’t discount Beastmaster Ascension. I love swinging doomed tokens into blockers because you don’t have to live, you just have to try to get Beastmaster Ascension all riled up and ready for battle. Slimefoot is good to chip them for some damage in a build like this and soften them up for an alpha strike. This build is good when you think the decks at the table are likely to be worse than yours.

If the decks at the table are likely to be better, you may want to look at comboing off more consistently. Tutors are one answer, but redundant combo pieces like Doubling Season would be good. You’ll want possibly more Umbras and maybe Lightning Greaves and/or Swiftfoot Boots to protect your investment. I might add Heroic Intervention in a build like this. I might also add something like Wurmcalling to make your Paradox Engine even better. Engine is currently pretty great with Earthcraft and Cryptolith Rite, but adding a second buyback spell to give you more combo potential never hurt. Cadaverous Bloom is great for dumping useless lands that you’ll never need to play and turning them into a burst of mana to go off a turn faster and you may even want, Squandered Resources. It’s not about getting a ton of mana from it, it’s about going off a turn or so faster because the combo of Slimefoot, Altar and either a token doubler or bracers is an infinite loop. You might add Phyrexian Altar so you have a small amount of redundancy that requires you to either have spare mana from something like Earthcraft or to have a second token doubler but at least allows you to go off without Ashnod's Altar. You may add more mana rocks so you can get large amounts of mana with Paradox Engine — the build isn’t super conducive to that right now.

If you want to be more Slimefoot-focused, add some more Umbras and maybe some equipment like Neko-Te that rewards you for damaging them. Vampiric Link could be cool, Sixth Sense goes in this build to join Keen Sense, and cards like Darksteel Plate can make sure Slimefoot sticks around to machinegun them more. I won’t be a total cheeselord and suggest a Voltron build like I did last week with Jodah, but it’s not out of the question.

Despite being a goofy meme of a creature, Slimefoot is an exciting card, has a ton of potential and could be a pretty reasonably-priced foil since it’s not rare. Maybe spring for Japanese or Russian foil and sock some value away in it. This build is highly customizable and I hope you go for it, just don’t forget our 75% roots. What did I miss? Were there gross oversights or questionable inclusions? Let me know in the comments, share this article with your friends and keep building 75%. Until next time!

Dominaria is Now Available for Preorder!