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2 Hours to Queen Cymede


Anax and Cymede by William Murai

Greetings, loyal subjects. Today, I will make you privy to a queen’s hidden magic in achieving her glorious look when making a public appearance. If you have not yet donned proper Theros attire, I encourage you to consult Sonja’s guide to togas et cetera. I was pleasantly surprised at the level of plebian participation I witnessed during prerelease weekend in terms of festive dress. Yet, we must always look to improve ourselves in the eyes of the gods. Our leonin adversaries are consistently kicking our asses in cosplay and in overall team spirit. I call upon you to do your duty to Akros and to Theros in general and tie one on (a bed sheet, I mean) for an event this year. My account of putting on my queen face for a tourney in Portland, Oregon is as follows. I had two hours and only the contents of my palace to use.

Working on The Eyebrows That Will Mount The World. Strong features are my trademark, so I always use dark eyeliner, thicken my brows with dark pencil, and choose a vibrant color for my lips. I’m not shy with the blush brush and the bronzer either.

Anax hates it when I wear parts of the Kolophon, but I’m Queen of the Extreme Cheapskates.

Commoners have to tease their hair and apply Aquanet. Not yours truly. Keranos just shoots a lightning storm my way to help with my updo. From here, it is a simple matter of a one-inch curling iron applied to make ringlets at the sides—and pulling the rest back into a mid-high bun. Curled, 90s-style bangs work here.

The secret to my regal headwear is a simple headband wrapped with florist’s wire left over from Vraska.

As a young Akroan woman sowing her wild oats, I did attend some revels. This short red dress is a relic from those days and was quite popular with the Satyrs, as I recall. I layered it over an old wedding gown (I have many of these left over from days hustling as a street vendor in the polis of eBay).

A secret vault of jewelry comes in handy at times like these. It does help to have many admirers, both godly and mortal. Brooches are especially useful for adding structure as well as textural detail to fantasy attire. The drape of my wrap was achieved with a combination of safety pins and brooches pinned through all layers of fabric directly to the wedding gown (and bra straps when applicable), for stability.

Here, I am standing outside the local game store coliseum where I will make my appearance, ready to not make eye contact with all the plebeians.

I was pleased to make the acquaintance of an intriguing noblewoman who went by the name of Jhoira.

I claimed the Modern Masters vending machine behind me for Akros. The bracelet and choker you can see here are made simply by twisting the same florist’s wire I used on the headband into the desired shape.

Here I am with my new scribe Fblthp. He told me an amazing tale of how his “spark” “ignited” while wandering the streets of a “plane” called “Ravnica.” I must investigate his claims, but he is a fine attendant.

Only the bravest warriors of Akros show their mettle by insisting on using the ancient flip phone artifact.

To be continued . . . 

Please return next week, when I present my entire photographic account of the prerelease tourney at Guardian Games. Till next time, may Magic be your wearable Kolophon—and avert your eyes with proper humility when I pass. And don’t interrupt me when I’m texting.






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