Blue and Green just don't get along.  It has been that way for as long as any of us can remember, or at the very least about 17 years.  This hatred has long bled outside the lines of each card and passed on to the players themselves.  Check out the comments on these recent Gathering Magic articles here, here and here.  All of them dissolved into shouting matches regarding what color is more fun to play or which represents Magic more accurately.  And simply which color is 'better'.  It appears that 17 years of animosity does not die easily.  To that end Blue and Green recently agreed to a historic sit-down with a world renowned keeper of the peace: Maury Povich.  The following is the transcript from The Maury Povich Show.

"Hello everyone and welcome back to the Maury Show. I am joined onstage by someone who needs no introduction, Magic the Gathering's Green.  Lets give Green a round of applause, please. Now Green, it seems life has been pretty good to you these past few months.  After the release of Magic 2010 your classic Elfball deck was dominating tournaments.  Zendikar did rotate out a few of your more precious elves, but brought with it a land-based expansion and Lotus Cobra, the most valuable card in the set.  Yet there remains that chip on your shoulder, can you tell us about that?"

"Yeah Maury, things are going pretty good.  Land-based expansions sure do favor me, and everyone has been super supportive.  Asking for my help triggering Landfall and fixing mana even more than usual.  Of course it feels great to have such a sought after single card like LC in the mix.  Honestly, I was starting to get a little jealous of White in that sense.  But yeah, the other colors have been really cool with this whole Zendikar thing.  I mean the guys are all taking a tiny part of me by making land such a big deal.  But its been real positive and they all seem grateful.  Well, almost all. . ."

"Say no more Green.  I think we all know about whom you're speaking.  So why the tension between Blue and yourself, can you elaborate some?  I mean it is pretty clear that there are two separate camps here that have no intention of working to resolve the problem.  What is is with Blue, and do you think there is any chance of a happy ending here?"

"Jeez Maury, that is a tough one.  Blue and I have never got along and its worse these days than it ever has been.  Like I was saying everyone has been really great about Zendikar and sort of giving me pats on the back for the mana stuff.  Not Blue.  Every time there is a chance to poke fun at my big creatures or lack of dynamic deck builds he goes off.  Its really grating on me.  Especially with all this garbage about Blue not getting any good cards lately.  Any time someone mentions faeries or Cryptic Command Blue just scoffs.  The guy just feels entitled I guess. Probably because the early years favored him so much.  Now its like some aging supermodel who won't accept their decline and tries to maintain some past glory by focusing everything on themselves.  Like Tyra Banks.  Yeah, Blue is the Tyra Banks of Magic colors.  You can quote me on that Maury."

"Strong words there Green.  But I'm glad you are being so honest with us.  And in that same vein we want to be fully honest with you to.  Right now, backstage and listening to this entire conversation, is Blue in person! What we would like to do is bring Blue out here right now so you both can express to each other your true feelings."

"Blue, why don't you tell us a little about your problems with Green?"

"This whole feud is patently ridiculous Maury.  To be feuding with someone, both parties have to care about each other in some way.  No matter how minute.  That is certainly not the case here, as I pay Green barely any heed at all.  The entire war rages on in his tiny mind alone.  Meanwhile, my real issue is with Wizards of the Coast.  Each set they try some new tactic to make me weaker.  Be it granting my abilities to the other colors like Lapse of Certainty and Souls Majesty or removing entire factions of my game.  Where is my bounce Maury?  I ask you honestly what have these heathens done with it?  Of course these attempts at watering me down are doomed to failure.  Why?  Because my very nature attracts what WotC can never nerf: true intellect."

"Oh please!  How much more of this do we have to listen to!  Blue nobody likes you.  When WotC knocks you down a peg (if they ever do) its because they are looking out for the people who count, Magic fans.  All these folks in the audience know what I'm talking about right? Blue, can you think of the last time anyone had fun playing with or against you?  And I don't mean winning because everyone likes winning.  I mean when was the last time a counterspell brought a smile to a player's face?  It never happens.  All you do is slow the game down.  And don't even get me started on Milling.  Milling is like joining a foot race then once the gun sounds you walk 10 feet in the opposite direction and declare yourself the winner.  Yet Wizards still makes those cards for you and you still complain."

"Your analogies are really top notch today Green.  Did you write them out before hand to make sure they made you sound clever?  Look try to wrap your head around this fairly significant fact, Magic the Gathering is not a foot race.  Indeed it is exactly the opposite.  It is a test of wits and determination.  Chess not checkers.  Very few players truly understand this and that explains my small but vocal contingency here. Realistically, I should be much more upset with you.  How many green creatures have 'protection from blue' or 'can't be countered'?  Plenty.  Yet still you struggle when you face me.  Again, let me explain this to you:  everything in life is not an arm wrestling match.  Understood?  For the final time, I don't care how much you bench."

"See!?  This is why you don't have any friends.  Even Black keeps his distance when everyone else is around.  You dismiss everything and always in the most hurtful fashion!  Its mean spirited.  And I'm sorry there aren't better counterspells, but you don't hear Red complaining about a lack of land destruction do you?  The two are about the same to me as far as ruining what could be a fun game."

"Alright calm down you two.  This was never meant to get heated.  Will both of you please be seated and we can continue on trying to bury the hatchet? After all, don't you both have an equal stake in Magic itself?  It seems to me that a united front could really make MTG a better place.  Thoughts?"

"The whole debate is really not that complicated.  If Green could simply accept his role as the color for low-brow beginners we could all move on.  Surely that can't be that difficult even for Green to understand."

Well there you have it.  Some conflicts run deeper than either party is willing to admit and this is one of those conflicts.  Why?  Because this debate is not about who has better cards, or cooler art.  It is a fundamental difference in the way the game of Magic is played and perhaps even in world view.  Can peace ever truly be reached under these circumstances?  Ah, to hell with it.  See you all tomorrow.