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How to Read Minds and Influence People

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A person's physicality and kinesics can betray a lot more information than they care to divulge. A trained eye can easily detect falsification, fear, weakness, and a host of other negative emotions. On the lighter side, it is easy to tell when someone is excitedly agreeing without cracking a smile. This is especially useful in negotiation. Learning to read body language can be of massive benefit to traders. Being able to read someone is just as good as being able to see into his or her brain.

The reason for this is that body language is, almost always, subconscious. While some people, especially those in sales and business, have trained body language, the vast majority of people are oblivious to the study. Most of our bodily mannerisms come from pre-human times, since the apes that preceded us had very rudimentary language, if any. Somehow, I think opening your arms with your palms up says "I welcome you" more than a Simian Grunts. Thus, primates lacking our specific level of consciousness displayed their emotions and needs via primitive language and by manipulating their physicality. That is to say, we're basically just trading with a bunch of monkeys.

For traders, it is imperative to understand one's environment. Being able to read the body language, what we will call "tells," as in poker, can alert you to the nature of the other party before you say a word. If the trader appears confident, as demonstrated by open body language and relaxed posture, in addition to frequent and sustained eye contact, you are probably working with someone who knows what he's doing. The odds are, they are savvy on the trade floor. While his specific skill set isn't knowable, you can at least enter the deal with an idea of who you're dealing with.

Conversely, if you see someone with folded arms, that is often a sign of a closed-off mentality. He may just be cold, but look for other signals of disinterest, such as frequent breaking of eye contact. This can also signal deception, so tread carefully. Either way, know that the other party is likely uncomfortable, defensive, and/or nervous. This has trade implications, too. You may want to slow down the tempo of your deal, or relinquish more control to the other party. By allowing him to feel more in control, he can allay his own fears.

Words facilitate deception. Though most people seem to be honest, intention may not match up with reality. The subconscious is a much better gauge of truth than the words your partner speaks. If someone says he's okay with something, but appears to have flighty eyes, a closed-off arm position, and perhaps is touching his hands or face often, you may be dealing with someone who is too timid to say no. You may gain a friend and a more favorable deal by simply saying, "You seem uncomfortable with this trade. Would you like to work it out differently?" This level of directness will at least be appreciated, even if his response is, "No, sorry, I just really have to pee!" At which point you can close the deal and allow him to take a bathroom break.

On the other hand, you can easily gauge someone's reaction to a trade by looking for signs of excitement. It's not too hard to play it cool, intentionally hemming and hawing over a trade, when you know you're getting a sweet deal. A bit of fidgeting and "Um, hmm," and some "We'll come back to that," and you'll have a performance worthy of an Oscar. Most people won't do this, but it's a nice tool to have if you're dealing with someone who seems overeager to conduct business with you. In this case, a bit of hesitance can rein him in a bit. If he seems excited to do the deal, but his words betray a bit of ignorance, don't bother being a bit cagey. I always prefer to keep trades simple with people who are not serious traders.

There are a few ways to spot excitement or anticipation in another person. Wide eyes and dilated pupils usually indicate a subconscious desire to see more of whatever he's excited about. Leaning forward is usually a good sign. I almost always gently recline when I'm sitting, as I am usually relaxed at the trade tables. If I'm feeling uptight, I'll intentionally correct my posture. It seems odd, but changing your physicality can actually alter your conscious state of mind. Again, it seems strange, but I encourage you to try it.

Excitement can also be demonstrated by the pace of the other party's voice. A quick pace with a lot of rising inflection often belies excitement, whereas a slow-paced voice without a lot of rising inflection usually indicates quiet confidence—or, if it is soft (as opposed to loud and rich), timidity. It's important to know these distinctions, and to practice reading the tone of voice and body language often. You will commonly see things that are not there, but humans are meant to do this sort of thing. Once you start practicing it, incidentally, you'll notice it everywhere. Try not to get too obsessed! Once you're sharp, though, people will think you're a mind-reader.

Eavesdropping on other trades can be a fantastic way to find new trade partners. While listening to other deals around you, keep an ear out for qualities like hesitation, excitement, and restlessness. Hesitant traders should be allotted more time, but that should also give you the opportunity to browse their binders for value a couple times. With a hurried trader, you will find you are forced into snap decisions. Just be prepared. When eavesdropping, be sure to recognize the body-language cues of both parties, and try to figure out who's in what role in the trade.

If you are at an event with a partner, be sure to discuss this stuff with your buddy. Two people will often notice different things, and comparing notes will help you learn to read people far better than solo practice will.

The state of your trading partner's binder can tell you a great deal about his approach to the game. The binder is a direct link to his mentality. Consider the following questions: Is there a front page of glory? Are the cards stacked deep in the pockets? What does this imply about the individual holding the cards? Are the cards sorted? Are there gaps in the binder? All of these things tell you about the mental state of your partner. Leave me a comment and let me know what those things tell you about the binder's owner. You can really read a lot from someone's binder and collection presentation.

Overall, it's quite amazing what you can divine from the nonverbal cues of those around you. These physical and vocal cues can basically allow you to read minds. They take time to develop, and more time to implement, but once you have the presence of mind to actively look for these cues, you'll see them everywhere. I'm eager to hear your experiences in this arena, so be sure to leave ample comments!

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