If you really want to get into competitive Magic, you are going to have to put time into it. Every once in a while, you hear about someone winning their first PTQ and then going on to make the gravy train, but that isn't the normal progression. Chances are you will spend years grinding it out before you ever have a chance to play in the big game. Because of the time and resource constraints that go into playing competitive Magic, you are going to need a lot of allies in your quest for the blue envelope.

When you have a chance to do something skeevy – anything on the scale of cheating to highly unethical – keep in mind what you are doing and how much you are paying in the long term for the result of one game, or one match, or one tournament. One of, if not the most, important resource that you have is your reputation as a player. Decks, cards, and rating points come and go, but your reputation follows you no matter what else happens. If you have the option of winning by doing something that could forever mar your reputation as an honest player, then don't do it. No single tournament is worth that. If you want to play competitive Magic, you need to think long-term.

This may just be me talking. I know a lot of people who could care less about if you were banned for cheating six months ago, as long as you are a good player. I think perhaps the largest flaw of the culture of the competitive Magic community is that it is, at its heart, a meritocracy. There is no easier way of finding new 'friends' at your local level than winning a PTQ. You can go from being the guy sitting alone in the corner to the center of attention as people suddenly start asking your opinion on everything and treat you like nobility. You show up to a tournament lacking a few mythics or even a deck and people are willing to give you whatever you wanted – if for no other reason than so that your success can rub off on them.

You can't wow people on the Pro Tour with the fact that you've won a qualifier

The problem with this kind of reputation is that it doesn't last, and it doesn't transfer well to higher arenas. You can't wow people on the Pro Tour with the fact that you've won a qualifier – most everyone else there did it too. If you want to get the same level of instant notoriety, you're going to have to win a Pro Tour, and that is a much larger jump in skill. And there is only so long that people at the local level will remember that Pro Tour appearance and treat you like a star. You can try and lengthen it by wearing your Pro Tour Four-Years-Ago shirt to every event, but eventually those fair-weather friends are going to stop giving you deck tech, or even full decks, just because of one accomplishment you made. The people who liked you for being successful will have found somebody else to barn. At some point you are going to have to earn your keep in the local community by being amicable and helping others out. And, of course, by not being a dick.

Someone who I used to look up to and respect once justified some borderline (at best) actions by telling me that every PTQ has one winner and a hundred losers. Anyone who wasn't willing to push an old lady down a flight of stairs was going to be beaten by someone who was. Hyperbole (hopefully) aside, it told me a lot about this player and made me feel as though I was never going to be good enough to qualify for a Pro Tour, since I was not willing to lie, cheat and steal to get there. I spent the next five years or so playing in occasional PTQs, making a few top8s a year, and making friends with other players on the PTQ circuit. He spent the time playing in a few Pro Tours and alienating everyone he came into contact with.

That player was probably far better than I will ever be at Magic, but he burnt nearly every bridge he possibly could in the pursuit of his goal. When it came to a point in time when he was playing at the professional level, he didn't have anybody he could work with or who would as much as loan him a deck. When I finally broke through to higher levels of play, I found that there were a number of people that I either knew, or on the basis of my reputation, could help me with a decklist or some testing results. When I took some time off to finish my last year of college, they were still there when I came back. It may not have been to my advantage to not win a single PTQ, but it was to my advantage to have built relationships with people who had won them.

The problem with a lot of the top players on the PTQ level is that they have a chip on their shoulder. They are probably good enough that if they could hit the gravy train, they could stay on it for a while. Unfortunately, they can't quite break through at the Pro Tour level and are forced to show up every Saturday a tournament and try and prove why they shouldn't be forced to play in it. They don't enjoy it, but they need the validation. These are the people that tend to turn newer players away from the game – they are rude, mean-spirited, and will do whatever it takes to make sure you have the least pleasant experience possible when you sit down across from them. Their rationality is usually something in line with "anything for a win."

The interesting thing is that once you get to the Pro Tour, most players are far more relaxed and friendly. It helps that you get quite a few more losses before you are knocked out of contention, and that making 16th is still going to get you a good reward, but it also has to do with the fact that the players have much less to prove. You're not going to get any take-backs, but you're also not going to get berated and humiliated for fumbling your way through a win. There really isn't much of an advantage in doing that, and all you have accomplished is embarrassing or angering someone else who put a lot of time and money into traveling to an event that they had to qualify for.

One of the things that the Pros realized that these want-to-be Pros don't, is that the competitive Magic community is actually fairly small. If you want to play week after week, you will see the same people over and over again. Be good to these people, and treat them with respect, and they will repay the favor in time. The small child that you are trying to trick into drawing an extra card and getting a game loss may very well be the next wunderkind of Magic, and they will remember. Would you rather have that person remember you as the nice guy who won or lost with grace and played a fair game, or the douche bag who stole a win? And if it isn't them, it could be their friend or their friend's friend. Having a bad reputation will get around and end up costing you a lot in the long run.

The common wisdom, and I find it to be true, is that actions speak louder than words. Anyone can talk about how they like a fair game, and are pleasant to their opponents, but it's how you act in the moment that matters. This is what is going to make up the majority of how your opponents perceive you. If you are polite and nice to the good players, then rude to the ‘bad' players, then people will notice. You can blow your top and scream at someone, but if you go back afterwards and apologize, then that person will remember that. Many Magic players either don't understand, or don't care enough, to treat their opponents with that level of respect, so when someone does, it gets remembered.

When you are x-1-1 in a PTQ and get paired down against an x-2, do you want the be the guy who is known for being fair and honest, or the guy who is known for screwing people over all the time? When the round goes to time and both you and your opponent are out with a draw, do you want them to not even consider drawing with you out of spite? When you absolutely positively need to borrow a set of Baneslayers right before a tournament, are you going to ask someone who you berated for half an hour last week because they top decked a burn spell? Whether or not you believe it now, when you start doing well at the local level, people who you don't know will talk about you. There is a good chance you talk about players who you don't know, or don't know well, with your friends. The only thing people have to go on are the isolated instances where you played them, or their friends. If everyone has positive things to say about you, then you will get the reputation you need to help you out in the situations above. If everyone has nothing but bad things to say, then you are going to have no chance.

You need to do what you do for your own reasons

I have my own theories on ethics and fair play which took me years to fully formulate, but it's important that you develop your own. You need to do what you do for your own reasons, not for anybody else's. You should then surround yourself with people whose demeanor and ethics you can respect. You will be judged by the company you keep. That doesn't mean you have to agree with everything your friends do, but it should all be on the up and up. I have friends who will tell their opponents before forgetting a pact, or let them re-tap their mana half a turn later. I have friends who are as hard-nosed and by the book as you could imagine, and have no problem holding their opponents to the exact letter of what they said. The thing is that over the whole range, these people hold themselves to the same level of play they expect of their opponents, or higher. If you make a mistake and hold to it, people won't get as mad when you hold them to one. If you ask for a takeback and then hold someone to a mistake when they make one, people will think less of you for it.

The more positive of a reputation you can build, the more people who you don't know, or don't know well, will like and respect you. The more they will be willing to help you out and be there for you when you need an ally. If you think you can fight through the trenches of a PTQ season with no friends, be my guest and try it. If you really want to succeed, you need to constantly show other people kindness, respect, and honesty, and it will stick with you. You will build up friends and compatriots, and when you do finally get to the top, you will have people rooting for you.