Growing up, my parents were constantly insisting I read more. I can't really blame them, I suppose. There have been numerous studies over the years linking childhood reading to literacy, emotional intelligence, and empathy. As an adult, I completely understand these benefits and encourage my own children to read.
As a teenager, however, I didn't really see the point. I knew that reading was supposed to help grow my vocabulary (thereby helping me improve my SAT scores), but wasn't I growing my vocabulary enough by playing Magic? While Shivan Dragon, Sengir Vampire, and Serra Angel never really taught me new vocabulary, there are a good number of cards that do stretch one's understanding of the English language.
If you were diligent about it, you could create your own Magic dictionary, a summary of all the challenging words listed on cards from the game. Surely this list would grow quite long if you kept with it--there are many cards that taught me new vocabulary words over the years. Let's look at a handful and see what we've learned as Magic players already, without picking up a single book! I'll provide the definitions of each along with a snapshot of the card.
Defenestrate
Verb
1. throw (someone) out of a window
2. remove or dismiss (someone) from a position of power or authority
3. Destroy target creature without flying
This is my favorite $100 word from Magic: the Gathering. Defenestration was even the word of the day on Merriam-Webster's website back in October. I especially love that they brought this term back for Defenestrated Phantom in Murders at Karlov Manor.
Abjure
Verb
1. Solemnly renounce (a belief, cause, or claim)
2. To abstain from; avoid
3. Sacrifice a Blue permanent: Counter target spell
This was one of the first Magic cards I remember reading without having a clue what it meant in English. I tried playing it a few times, but it usually felt terrible two-for-oneing myself every time I cast it. I ended up abjuring ever playing this card.
Armillary Sphere
Noun
1. A model of the celestial globe constructed from rings and hoops representing the equator, the tropics, and other celestial circles, and able to revolve on its axis
2. An artifact you can sacrifice to search your library for up to two basic land cards, reveal them, and put them into your hand. Then shuffle your library.
Wait. Armillary is a real word and not a made-up Magic term? That definition is awfully specific. It begs the question, what came first? Did Wizards of the Coast know about the English word "armillary" and create a card based off it, or did they want to create an artifact that resembled a globe with all those lines drawn on it that can revolve around its axis, and then discovered there was already a term for such a contraption?
Autochthon [Wurm]
Noun
1. An original or indigenous inhabitant of a place
2. Something formed or originated in a place where found
3. A 9/14 trampling creature that costs a million mana with convoke
I stumbled upon this card while conducting research for this article, and I had to include it. I can't even pronounce Autochthon, let alone tell you what it means without looking it up! This game continues to teach me new things daily.
Bituminous [Blast]
Adjective
1. Of, containing, or of the nature of bitumen
2. Of or relating to bituminous coal
3. An instant with Cascade that does four damage to target creature
Ok, so what's bitumen? I had to look that one up as well. It turns out bitumen is a Black, viscous mixture of hydrocarbons obtained naturally or as a residue from petroleum distillation.
Thus, a Bituminous Blast is an explosion caused by these Black hydrocarbons. Well, hydrocarbons can be explosive so it checks out. Still, how did Wizards of the Coast even find this word? Coal Blast wasn't good enough?
Abstruse Appropriation
You get two words for the price of one with this card!
Abstruse: adjective
1. Difficult to understand; obscure
Appropriation: noun
1. The action of taking something for one's own use, typically without the owner's permission
2. A sum of money or total of assets devoted to a special purpose
3. A Devoid instant from Modern Horizons 3 that exiles a nonland permanent, and then lets you cast that permanent as long as it remains exiled (and allowing you to spend colorless mana as though it were mana of any color to cast that spell)
This card name is quite the mouthful. I can only imagine what artist Jason Rainville's reaction was if/when they were told the name of the card. "OK, you're going to create the art for a card name Abstruse Appropriation. Don't worry about what it does. Just draw an upside-down dude sticking out of something with abstract structures and banners surrounding their legs."
Diluvian Primordial
Yet another card name with two difficult words!
Diluvian: adjective
1. Another term for diluvial
2. Relating to a flood or floods, especially the biblical Flood
Primordial: noun
1. Something that existed at the beginning, or is fundamental or original
2. Earliest form in the grown of an individual or organ
3. A 5/5 flying avatar creature from Gatecrash that lets you cast instant or sorcery cards from other players' graveyards without paying mana costs
I suspect Wizards of the Coast was the first entity ever to combine these two words. It's interesting how diluvian has a biblical context--I wonder if they knew that when they chose to use this word for this card. I don't why they chose "diluvian" instead of "diluvial" but it looks like both words are legit so I guess it's a matter of personal preference.
Ossification
Noun
1. The natural process of bone formation or the hardening (as of muscular tissue) into a bony substance
2. a mass or particle of ossified tissue
3. a tendency toward or state of being molded into a rigid, conventional, sterile, or unimaginative condition
4. An aura that enchants a basic land you control that exiles a creature or planeswalker an opponent controls until it the aura leaves the battlefield
I give props to Wizards of the Coast for this one. The third definition above is most resonant with this card's ability in Magic. They must have a brilliant team of experts with a vast vocabulary (or a skill in using a thesaurus) because I don't know how someone would grab "ossification" out of thin air to describe a perfectly matching card!
Abhorrent Oculus
Here's another one with two words worth knowing!
Abhorrent: adjective
1. Causing or deserving strong dislike or hatred: being so repugnant as to stir up positive antagonism
2. Not agreeable
3. Feeling or showing dislike or hatred
Oculus: noun
1. A circular or oval window
2. A circular opening at the top of a dome
3. An obnoxious 5/5 flying creature from Duskmourn that is very difficult to kill before it takes over the game, especially in Limited
While Merriam-Webster provides a more generic definition for oculus, it's also a Latin word that literally means "eye." The term is frequently used in medical names and descriptions related to the eye. Thus, Bryan Sola's depiction of the Abhorrent Oculus as a giant, menacing eye ball is spot on. Again, we have two words that you'd never think to combine yet Wizards of the Coast pulls it off perfectly on this card.
Hyalopterous Lemure
Ok, I saved the best for last. This card's name is so elevated that Microsoft Word even underlines them to tell me they're spelled incorrectly. The original artist charged with illustrating this card, Richard Thomas, also struggled with the meaning of this card--that's why they illustrated something akin to a lemur and not a lemure!
Hyalopterous: adjective
1. Having transparent wings
Lemure: noun
1. Spirits of the unburied dead exorcised from homes in early Roman religious rites
2. An adorable-looking 4/3 creature from Ice Age that can gain flying and -1/-0 until end of turn for 0 mana.
Here's another card that I absolutely cannot pronounce. That first word doesn't even show up when I search for it on Merriam-Webster's dictionary. I think it didn't come into existence until the 1850's. The word appears to be associated with a genus of bugs, such as the hyalopterus amygdali, which is a type of aphid that feeds on stone fruit trees.
Then we have "lemure," which looks awfully close to "lemur," but with a vastly different definition! Again, the term "lemure" has such a specific reference to Roman religion--how did Wizards of the Coast ever find this word? Why couldn't the card be winged undead or something that doesn't reference such obscure terms? I'd love to know the history behind this card's name one day. If anyone knows, please reach out and let me know!
Wrapping It Up
There we have it: a list of ten cards that have helped expand my vocabulary. In reality, there are dozens of others that have also helped me learn more about the English language. This game truly does grow one's knowledge across multiple vectors: reading comprehension, vocabulary, mathematics, strategy, empathy, etc. Maybe they should look at incorporating Magic into public school curricula? That would be an interesting study for a PhD thesis someday.
I hope you enjoyed this exploration into Magic's advanced card names. Or should I say, "I ardently aspire that you derived profound gratification from this erudite foray into the labyrinthine nomenclature of Magic's esoterically intricate card appellations."