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Abe's Spring Cleaning

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Hello folks!

It's well past time.

It needs to happen.

Here is my deck right now.

See the big giant box of cards? That's around 80% of Abe's Deck of Happiness and Joy. One deck.

And here are some stacks on my coffee table. Every stack of purple cards? More parts to my deck!

That's a lot of deck!

I can't keep doing this to myself. I have to trim some weight.

Let's back up and set the scene.

Back when Tempest-Urza's Saga were Standard legal, I created a powerful shell that was designed to abuse two cards that I felt were very strong together, Sneak Attack and Living Death. This deck would use Sneak Attack to toss out nasty cards with powerful effects, as well as smashing beaters and then finished with a Living Death to kill any opposing dorks while also bringing back my dead dorks. This deck named Abe's Deck of Happiness and Joy, would run Green to help with mana and early defenses. I would drop Birds of Paradise for mana, Wall of Blossoms to block and draw cards, and stuff like Spike Feeder for life, Spike Weaver for Fogs to keep me alive until I went off, and Spike Soldier as one of my beaters, as well as Child of Gaea and Verdant Force as some of my beatsticks. I could Sneak Attack out a Spike Feeder for life, a Wall of Blossoms for a card to block, and such. And then? Boom! They all come back. I preferred Child of Gaea as my beater of choice because I could stick paying its upkeep and it would die. Then I could recur it with Living Death!

This deck slowly morphed into my current deck. It would adept new changes with cards like Avalanche Riders, Bone Shredder, Hunting Moa, Deranged Hermit, and Ghitu Slinger as the rest of the block was released. Echo was amazing in this shell because I could fail to pay it, and it would linger in my graveyard, ready to be returned. I won multiple local tournaments with it.

When the deck left Standard, I didn't want to remove cards from it, so I kept it together. I slowly, over time, added non-Standard cards that worked in the shell. Cards like Captain Sisay or Kor Haven were added. I'd pull cards out here and there, and soon my deck was 80 and then 100 cards. It added in all of the colors. In the early 2000s, I decided to make it my first Five Color deck and then gave it a Highlander spin as well. It rose in size to 250 cards, and it slowly, over time, became the deck you see below you today. Today it's a Highlander deck that is still legal in Five, and is meant for multiplayer.

It's just too big. I haven't cut cards from it in years, and it's overly large.

What I want to do today is look at this deck hard. What cards need to go? I want to axe every card that doesn't need to be here.

Let's look at targeted removal as a good example of where I want to begin.

I need removal that meets at least one of these requirements (preferably more).

  1. Flexible - It needs to either have multiple targets, or do something else in addition to removing something.
  2. Instant - I prefer my targeted removal to be instant speed.
  3. Cheap - I don't want to spend more on my removal than the card itself. Cheap matters.
  4. Exile - I prefer exiling to destruction effects almost exclusively.

Take a good example of a classic spell, Swords to Plowshares. This card is a fast 1 mana and it exiles instantly. It meets three of the four criteria. So guess what? It's in my deck and it's never getting pulled out. However consider four other exiling creature effects, which you might (cough cough) find in my deck...

Angelic Edict
Topple
Bring to Trial
Sever the Bloodline

Take a look at them. All four are sorcery speed, and none of them are cheap in cost. Why am I running Bring to Trial or Topple when they have these major restrictions? I can't even exile any dork, just a certain class of dorks! However, don't sleep on Sever the Bloodline here. It may look like a four mana sorcery exile effect, but it can take out all tokens with the same name, or others of the same name out there, and the flashback is a valuable bonus, so it's massively flexible. Exile and flexible? Angelic Edict is probably too pricey to remain. I do like being able to exile an enchantment, (especially a God that's not currently a creature) but that's too much mana. It's too slow.

All of these meet one of my criteria, and but not all of them work elsewhere.

This is a good example of where I want to move. I want to drop my casting cost where possible, and remove overly redundant cards like these.

Here are some others:

I really want every card in my deck to, generally, do some of a few things:

  1. Don't Die - I always prioritize things that keep me alive. If it makes it a lot more likely to not die to opponents, I want it here. Famous examples include Moat, Ghostly Prison, and Maze of Ith. I'll run things like Singing Tree and more! I want to get in your way!
  2. More Cards - My next point of emphasis is netting cards. These include raw card drawing such as Braingeyser, a permanent I can activate for cards like Kefnet the Mindful; a card that replaces itself with its effect (Dismiss), a card that produces card advantage by its very nature (mass removal like Wrath of God), or something like an enters-the-battlefield dork that can pop something and remain in play (Knight of Autumn). Cards matter. I care more about cards than I do about the size of the body. I'll play Mulldrifter over a five-mana 5/5 flying dope that brings nothing else to the table.
  3. I Stop Your Stuff - I relish answers. You never know what you are shuffling against, or what part of your deck you are shuffling to use! Given that, answers are vital. Mass removal. Targeted removal. Counters. Burn. Discard. Answers to the crap you are trying to throw at me! This includes that are proactively (Terminate) and reactive (Heroic Intervention).
  4. I Have to Cast It - If I can't cast it, then it won't matter what I am playing, right? I need mana rocks, mana bodies, land fetchers, and lots more. I need to get the right mana so I can cast the stuff I run. This is why Green is the biggest color in my deck.
  5. Power Cards - we have a subset of cards that don't fit into the other categories, but clearly are powerful. Examples include Wishes such as Living Wish, tutors like Demonic Tutor, put-into-paly effects like Tooth and Nail, or things like Mindslaver. These don't fit into the other categories but they have a class of power that's undeniable.
  6. Game Enders - Every deck needs beaters to win. Ever since Child of Gaea and Verdant Force, this deck has had beaters. I need powerful creatures that can punch over and through defenses. I have all of the best you can think of Darksteel Colossus and Akroma, Angel of Wrath. ( I had initially called this category beaters, but then I realized that I may have cards like Insurrection that are game enders that aren't dorks, but that should be here).
  7. Recursion - Because the initial deck ran Living Death, this is a deck that has always been graveyard literate. It's cycled creatures to set up recursion. It's pushed creatures like Anger or Wonder there to give me potent abilities. It's sent dorks or spells there to recur. It's run mass and limited recursion in big numbers.
  8. Infrastructure? I can't think of anything I want in my deck that's not one of the above seven categories! But if I find it, I may be enticed to keep it even if it's not a power card, if it's important to keep the deck doing what I need it to do.

Now that I have given you the theory, let's move to the action!

I am pulling these cards......

I have found more than a long box of cards I pulled. Let's look at the trends for why they are heading out:

Renewal
Mana Prism

Worst of their Type - I have a number of cards that are cut on numbers. For example, support stuff like removal or land searching is coming out as the worst I have in the deck. Take the land fetching card in Homelands called Renewal. It forces you to sacrifice the land, so you just get one basic. Now sure, it slow-draws a card later, so it's two cards for two cards and not card disadvantage, but that's not what I want to be doing with my land fetching. Mana Prism is one of the worst mana rocks out there. Three mana for colorless, which is worse than two-mana rocks like Mind Stone, and you have to spend two mana to wash into one. It's good when I am running every mana rock ever printed, but when I am cutting the excess weight from my deck, it can head out.

Havenwood Battleground
Ravaged Highlands
Tinder Farm
Cloudcrest Lake
Vec Townships
Hashep Oasis

Bad Lands! - I have never run lands like Havenwood Battleground that arrive tapped and sacrifice for two mana. So why was I running the Ravaged Highlands cycle from Odyssey? In theory, it was so I could sacrifice it for Green so I could cast a mana-fetching card like Rampant Growth. The number of times I've done that was less than 5. In more than a decade. But the slow issue of the land? A problem. What about Tinder Farm and it's cycle from Invasion? Isn't it just a glorified Havenwood Battleground. I can't ever recall sacrificing these. In my deck, a Forest is better than Tinder Farm - it arrives untapped and doesn't have the non-basic weakness. I pulled them! I also pulled the slow-land cycles of Vec Townships and Cloudcrest Lake. I don't need them anymore. I am also pulling part of my cycles of non-basics that don't really add much. The Desert cycle has three cards that pump dorks or something boring. I don't want to lose life to make Green mana. And I don't need to sac my land and spend four mana to Giant Growth something. I left in ones that can get me cards like removal, recursion and such. Those are useful, but not this junk.

Rainbow Vale

A quick note on Rainbow Vale. I haven't encountered a group that has played this card like it used to be played in multiplayer for decades. I would drop the Vale, tap it for any color mana, and then send it to next person, who'd do the same, and then we'd pass it down and back. Everyone got an extra mana of their color! Now everyone is a Spike about it. I tap it and send it to the person next to me. They untap it, and then never use it. They sit on it for the rest of the game, and thus they it to their opponents. I haven't seen someone use it (unless they were mana screwed) and then pass it on for at least two years. Well, if it's not being used as a free mana of any color each turn, then it has no real value here anymore as it's a one-time effect. So I am pulling it. Find me a group that uses it correctly? It heads right back in!

Perimeter Captain
Shore Keeper

Defensive 1-Drops - I often run a lot of one-drops that will try to stand in the gap for a few turns while I set up my mana base and other needs. The best of these is Steel Wall, which is arguably one of the best 1-drops ever printed for multiplayer. It's colorless, and it's a 0/4 body, which will take a while to crack. It may not be until turn four or five until you are big enough to smash through. Most folks looking for an open route are going to head elsewhere. Inspired by that, I have added a number of dorks like these to my deck, but unlike Steel Wall, they require a specific mana. I have had a one-drop defensive dork that I can't play, or requires a mana that's only on a comes-into-lay-tapped land, and by then I've been attacked for damage before my shields were down. I have pulled all one-mana 0/X stuff that's not Steel Wall. I am running my normal 2-drops that'll stop attackers, like Fog Bank, Black Cat, and Mogg Maniac.

Gifted Aetherborn
Deathgaze Cockatrice

Bigger Deathtouchers - On a related note, I have pulled deathtouch defensive folks that aren't 1-drops. Only Typhoid Rats and friends remain. (Or cards that are good for reasons in addition to deathtouch, like Vampire Nighthawk).

Eldrazi Displacer
Endbringer

Failed Experiments - I added a number of cards that were experiments to my deck. The biggest of these were the colorless additions that required colorless mana activations to really take off, like Eldrazi Displacer. The amount of jiggering it takes to make this work isn't worth it. Very few of these will remain. There are a few other lesser experiments here as well.

Isochron Scepter
One with the Machine
Porphyry Nodes

Too Inconsistent - I had some cards that are amazing and can produce a game-winning position when everything was lined up. But they were just too inconsistent. Isochron Scepter is the best example, as it can work wonders when twinned with something like Counterspell, Terminate, Incinerate, or Fire // Ice. But the number of two-mana instants is so limited, that it was unreliable. All of these cards were just too inconsistent to remain.

Meteorite
Necropouncer
Annihilate

Too Expensive - I had some cards that were great! They would have made the cut all day long if they cost a little less mana. A great example is Meteorite. In an all-artifact deck or a place where the cost is reduced it's fine! And if it cost four mana or such, sure! But a 5-drop that accelerates my mana just one? And just Shocks something on arrival, which, by turn five, ain't much? Nope. Necropouncer is a perfect example too! Haste is essential in multiplayer, and getting a 3/1 haste up front and then equipping it later is incredibly strong. The equip cost of two mana is fine. But the initial cost? Nope. We can't rely on Stoneforge Mystic or Stonehewer Giant to drop it in a deck as big as my own. And a six mana 3/1 haste really isn't where you want to be if you don't have something later. That's the size of a one-mana Spark Elemental! You'll see sorcery removal, or great instant removal spells such as Annihilate that cost too much coming out. We just don't have the numbers and needed to trim a lot of fat.

What Did I Keep?

Now there are some cards that, on paper, may not make sense.

Let me show you a few and see if I can demonstrate why and where.

In no world are cards like Rocket Launcher, Wall of Air, or Hurricane on the level of power that you would expect for my deck. But come on now. Can you see me pulling these?

Here's another. This is Anurid Brushhopper, a junky 3/4 that require me to invest two cards just to keep it around. It's not good enough! But after I beat Arnie Swekel in a Limited prerelease game with this card, he agreed to sign it for me. Think it's going anywhere? Nope!

I also have some cards that were in this deck from its beginning, like Child of Gaea. Woodripper was in the first set of additions in Masques Block after it left. Are those heading to the sidelines? Nope!

After reviewing my deck, I did find some infrastructure cards that keep my deck moving - Impulse effects. Cards that dig and replace themselves, like Ancient Stirrings, Impulse, and such. They are cards that can dig and help me find what I need, like a color of mana or a valuable removal spell. Digging effects aren't card drawing and advantage, but they provide needed value to my deck, and I shouldn't be pulling Ponder, Impulse, Portent, or Serum Visions anytime soon, right?

Another set of infrastructure are my looting effects like Merfolk Looter or Cephalid Broker. These play a powerful role in churning my deck for goods, and building up a fat 'yard while I do so and obviously aren't going anywhere!

So what did you think? Are there any projects out there that you need to do? Any Spring Cleaning? Any Commander decks you haven't updated? Any Cubes that are more than a year out of date? Isn't it time to sit down and get it done?

I think so!!!

We'll finish with both the list of cards I cut (it's 500+ long) and then I have a Google list of my deck post-cuts for your perusal. Enjoy!

P.S. -Are you a person of taste who enjoys fantasy, horror or science fiction literature? Of course you are! I have started a new YouTube series that unpacks many of the hidden gems and forgotten treasures from these genres. I just posted a video on the Top Ten Fantasy Works of All Time. Why not check it out? https://youtu.be/4uj-WW9822M

Appendix One

Here is my current deck list over on Google sheets for you - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1FxTeCA6A5Oo6C2GWKnvT8b-d6xWqNnQr_8yOKqMrs-k/edit?usp=sharing

Appendix Two

Now here is the full list of the cards I just cut.

Abe's Deck of Happiness and Joy Cuts | Abe Sargent


That's a lot of cards pulled!

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