Hello everyone! I'm Levi from The Thought Vessel, and welcome back to Commander Kryptonite, the series where we look at the strongest decks in Commander, how they function, and most importantly, how to beat them. This week, we're tackling one of the most broken commanders of all time - Chulane, Teller of Tales. The only reason Chulane isn't the most popular commander in the format is out of sheer courtesy. Before we dive into the deck, let's take a look at what makes this busted commander tick.

The Commander: Chulane: Teller of Tales

Chulane comes from the (in)famous Brawl precon deck alongside Korvold, Fae-Cursed King, Syr Gwyn, Hero of Ashvale, and Alela, Artful Provocateur. Frankly, Chulane feels like a fan-made card that tries to cram every broken concept into one legendary creature. Every creature you cast with Chulane draws you a card and potentially lets you play a land. Being in Bant colors (White-Blue-Green), the deck has access to all the counterspells and protection it needs to keep Chulane safe. And if you run out of creatures? You can just tap Chulane for three mana and bounce one back to your hand to recast it. The value engine is real and relentless.

The Deck

The average Chulane list plays like a Bracket Four combo deck. It runs a ton of cheap creatures to maximize Chulane triggers and leans heavily into Aluren, an enchantment that lets any creature with mana value three or less be cast for free. Pair it with something like Shrieking Drake, which can bounce itself, and suddenly you're drawing your whole deck, putting all your lands into play, and building an absurd storm count. Chulane can also exploit blink effects, mana dorks, and even stax pieces like Drannith Magistrate to control the game. It's a terrifyingly effective blend of combo, control, and soft lock. Here is an example of a list for Chulane you might see at your local game store.

Chulane, Teller of Tales | Commander

• Commander (1)
• 1 Chulane, Teller of Tales

• Creatures (36)
• 1 Arbor Elf
• 1 Avacyn's Pilgrim
• 1 Aven Mindcensor
• 1 Avenger of Zendikar
• 1 Beast Whisperer
• 1 Craterhoof Behemoth
• 1 Birds of Paradise
• 1 Bloom Tender
• 1 Coiling Oracle
• 1 Delighted Halfling
• 1 Destiny Spinner
• 1 Dour Port-Mage
• 1 Drannith Magistrate
• 1 Elvish Mystic
• 1 Esper Sentinel
• 1 Eternal Witness
• 1 Faeburrow Elder
• 1 Frilled Mystic
• 1 Fyndhorn Elves
• 1 Grand Abolisher
• 1 Laboratory Maniac
• 1 Llanowar Elves
• 1 Lotus Cobra
• 1 Mystic Snake
• 1 Noble Hierarch
• 1 Paradise Druid
• 1 Rampaging Baloths
• 1 Reclamation Sage
• 1 Sakura-Tribe Elder
• 1 Scute Swarm
• 1 Seedborn Muse
• 1 Shrieking Drake
• 1 Tatyova, Benthic Druid
• 1 Tireless Provisioner
• 1 Whitemane Lion
• 1 Wood Elves

• Planeswalkers (1)
• 1 Oko, Thief of Crowns

• Instants (9)
• 1 Beast Within
• 1 Counterspell
• 1 Cyclonic Rift
• 1 Dovin's Veto
• 1 Eladamri's Call
• 1 Heroic Intervention
• 1 Path to Exile
• 1 Swords to Plowshares
• 1 Enlightened Tutor

• Sorceries (6)
• 1 Cultivate
• 1 Farseek
• 1 Finale of Devastation
• 1 Kodama's Reach
• 1 Rampant Growth
• 1 Worldly Tutor

• Enchantments (7)
• 1 Aluren
• 1 Aura Shards
• 1 Intruder Alarm
• 1 Guardian Project
• 1 Mana Breach
• 1 Mystic Remora
• 1 Rhystic Study

• Artifacts (5)
• 1 Arcane Signet
• 1 Cloudstone Curio
• 1 Lightning Greaves
• 1 Sol Ring
• 1 Thought Vessel

• Lands (35)
• 1 Azorius Chancery
• 1 Bountiful Promenade
• 1 Breeding Pool
• 1 Canopy Vista
• 1 Command Tower
• 1 Exotic Orchard
• 8 Forest
• 1 Flooded Strand
• 1 Glacial Fortress
• 1 Hallowed Fountain
• 1 Hinterland Harbor
• 3 Island
• 1 Misty Rainforest
• 2 Plains
• 1 Prairie Stream
• 1 Rejuvenating Springs
• 1 Reliquary Tower
• 1 Sea of Clouds
• 1 Seaside Citadel
• 1 Selesnya Sanctuary
• 1 Simic Growth Chamber
• 1 Spara's Headquarters
• 1 Sunpetal Grove
• 1 Temple Garden
• 1 Windswept Heath

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Strengths

The main strength of this deck is its overwhelming resource engine. Chulane decks can push through board wipes, spot removal, and table-wide hate thanks to the absurd card draw and ramp the commander provides. While the deck can win without a combo, games tend to end with inevitability and often a concession.

Chulane also thrives on the Cheerios strategy, casting zero-mana creatures like Ornithopter for free card draw. Few commanders match this level of value generation.

Weaknesses

Chulane isn't unbeatable, though. Because the deck leans on casting many small creatures, it usually includes very few big threats. Cards like Ghalta, Primal Hunger can apply pressure early and effectively, especially when Chulane doesn't have answers in hand.

The deck also relies heavily on having Chulane on the battlefield. The turns before its cast are usually filled with ramp and setup, and repeated removal can force the Chulane player to hold off on casting anything meaningful. Without its commander, the deck struggles to gain traction.

Finally, like many Simic-based strategies, Chulane decks can sometimes spin their wheels, drawing cards, playing lands, and doing value things without transitioning into a true win condition.

Cards to Watch Out For in Chulane

1) Destiny Spinner

Doesn't look like much, but with this on board, Chulane and Aluren can't be countered. If the Chulane player starts going off, it becomes nearly impossible to stop. Even if you hold up removal, cards like Mystic Snake can counter your answers, and they can't be countered in return. This card can quietly work as the final nail in the coffin.

2) Scute Swarm

This is the other side of casting all these creatures. Every time a creature is cast with Chulane in play could lead to another land drop to trigger Scute Swarm. Sometimes a Chulane player might include some land like Azorius Chancery to perpetually bounce itself and never miss a land drop again. It only takes a couple of turns of doubling the Scute Swarms in play to really feel the pressure that this deck can bring.

3) Aura Shards

A new game changer added in April this year could bring the game to a screeching halt thanks to the number of creatures that will be entering play, if an artifact or enchantment commander is at the table, their game is effectively on hold until the Aura Shards is removed. This card is brutal in nearly every deck, but a value engine like Chulane certainly knows how to twist the knife.

4) Village Bell-Ringer

This or a card like Intruder Alarm are like the plan B combo for Chulane. Effectively, Chulane would cast Village Bell-Ringer with their commander in play and some mana dorks. Chulane would use the ability for tap for three mana and put a creature back into their hand targeting Village Bell-Ringer. Once it is back in hand, Village Bell-Ringer can be recast. As long as the mana production can be one mana more that the among to bounce and recast Village Bell-Ringer, you have an infinite loop with infinite card draw.

5) Oko, Thief of Crowns

It's anti-synergistic with most of the deck, but it's still a tool in the toolbox. Oko turning commanders into Elk buys time, creating an opening for Chulane to go off while opponents scramble to deal with the planeswalker.

How to Beat Chulane

Ultimately, a game in which Chulane is defeated is going to go down in one of two ways. The table itself is aware of how strong this commander is and they take turns keeping Chulane off of the board. At a certain point in the game, Chulane will be too expensive to cast anymore, which will leave the rest of the deck looking like a Lamborghini without any tires. It might be pretty, but it isn't going anywhere. At that point, most of the sport removal in the average commander deck would have been expended, and this would be the window to try and take the lead and fight for position to fish the table off.

The second way to go about beating this deck is to simply outrace this deck. This is definitely something that would have to prepare ahead of time, but a highly aggressive voltron deck like Alexios, Deimos of Kosmos or Uril, the Miststalker or even a fast combo deck could steal a win away from Chulane while they are still spinning their wheels and getting their engine online. Fair warning with the second strategy though, if you consistently play a faster deck, your playgroup will be obligated to play faster in response and this could lead to an unwanted arms race.

Commander Kryptonite

If Chulane is still telling tales in your nightmares, try adding these to your 99:

Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite

A lof of these cards like Shrieking Drake are too small to survive the -2/-2 that Elesh Norn provides. If you can get this card out fast enough, this would bring Chulane to a halt.

Song of the Dryads

As we talked about earlier, Chulane in these decks is the centerpiece of the entire engine. If you can find a way to permanently put Chulane out of commission, the rest of the deck is not going to synergize nearly as well as the rest of the decks in the pod.

Orcish Bowmasters

If Chulane wants to draw an obscene amount of cards every turn, we can punish this behavior by pinging Chulane, creatures, or even the life total directly to disincentivize card draws with this new Game Changer, Orcish Bowmasters.

Rug of Smothering

Speaking of punishing behaviors, Rug of Smothering is a beautiful card to get into play. For the rest of the table, this might be 3-5 life over the entire game, for the Chulane player however this could be 10-15+ every single turn even without any combo or synergy in play. If the rest of the table is going their part and attacking Chulane, there will come a turn quickly that Chulane simply can't cast anything at all.

And there you have it! Chulane is incredibly strong, but with the right strategy and tech, it's beatable. If there's a commander you'd like to see featured on Commander Kryptonite, shoot me an email at thoughtvesselshow@gmail.com. Until next time, happy gaming!