My wife hates Magic. It isn't the visceral, primal hatred you see in the thrillers on the big screen. I'm unlikely to come home and find a pet boiling on the stove. It is the type of hate a wife saves for her husband's single friends who bring him to strip clubs and drop him off at home late at night, stumbling drunk and offering some booze-breath lovin' before vomiting on the bedroom carpet.

Now, don't get me wrong, I understand why my wife hates Magic. Magic takes me away from her and our children on Thursday nights. She is a light sleeper, and I wake her almost every time I come in, leaving her to spend two hours trying to fall back to sleep, while I instantly doze off. Magic means wobbly stacks of Magic cards covering our dining room table. Magic sometimes means having our house invaded by an eclectic bunch of card slingers who make too much noise and laugh at Magic-related humour that no one else finds remotely funny. Magic means me spending an afternoon every week, coming up with new decks. Admittedly, this usually turns into once a month, but it is time that, she believes, should be spent doing other things.

My wife's hatred of Magic manifests itself in a variety of ways.

The most common manifestation: The Stalling Tactic. My Magic evening starts at 7 p.m. To get there on time, I must leave by 6:10. It isn't that Magic is that far away, it is just that the nightmarish Boston road system is that bad. Since we have three children and my wife needs to be picked up at the train when she comes home, I can't leave until she arrives. Anyone who has been late for multiplayer Magic knows that being 5 minutes late means that you are likely waiting an hour for the next game to start. You just can't do it.

Initially, my wife showed up from work at 6:15. For the first three weeks, she claimed that she did not know I needed to leave at 6:10, just to make it there on time. After that, the reason changed to "I had to work late." My wife's job is challenging, and working late is a common occurrence. However, over the course of a month, she worked late six times: half of those late days happened to be Magic nights.

I have combated this by marking Magic nights on the calendar, and reminding my wife in the morning that I am playing Magic that night. This has had limited success.

Another stalling tactic is dinner. When she would get home on time, she would regularly take over the dinner duties. My wife is an amazing cook and enjoys cooking. I've yet to have one of her meals that I didn't love. This would mean that dinner would be ready at 6:00. If I leave without eating, I'm the villain ("I can't believe you aren't going to eat this dinner") and she is a martyr ("I have slaved away making dinner and you just leave?") If I stay to eat, I'm late. After this happened twice, I changed our dinner setup for Magic nights, ensuring that dinner is finished before she gets home, with whatever is left warming on the stove for her. At least this way there is only guilt as a punishment.

Speaking of which, another commonly-used tactic is guilt. There is a litany of problems due to me playing Magic:

Gone too long. My other weekly activity is floor hockey. I leave the house for one and a half hours every Wednesday night to play floor hockey. This is fine, since it is only for a short while. She likens it to going to the gym once a week. But Magic is much longer! I leave at 6:10 and don't return home until after 11:00 p.m.

Should be doing other things. There is always something in the house that needs to be fixed. Why aren't I spending more time with her? Since Magic is the lowest priority, why aren't I doing anything else?

While both of these are valid complaints, and I wish I had more time to do everything she asks, life is about balance. For me, Magic is a crucial part of that balance.

When I first moved to Boston, the only people I knew were my then fiancée and her children. Eventually I came to know more people but they were all through my wife. Once I found people to play Magic with, my network of friends began. When your wife is your best friend, it is a wonderful thing. When your wife is your only friend, it can put a terrible strain on your relationship. Magic, and the friendships I've made playing Magic, help with that strain. Magic provides a balance in my life.

And while it may sound otherwise, my wife is very understanding of the importance of Magic in my life. She knows that most of my close friends are through Magic. She encouraged me to bid on a library card catalog to hold my cards. She even drove with me to another state to get the card catalog. It sits in elegant splendour in our living room next to the wine rack. We enjoy time together in the living room reading and building decks with a fire in the fireplace. When I won a print of Overgrown Tomb at a prerelease, she encouraged me to get it framed. Did you know that Rob Alexander titled the piece "City of the Dead"? This piece of art, with numerous coffins and sarcophagi, and the title of the piece prominently displayed, is hanging in that same living room.

So, in the end I'm left with a dilemma: keep Magic or drop it. Dropping Magic is not really an option. I've been playing for more than fifteen years, and it is important in my life. So I continue to walk the tightrope many husbands walk, and trying to enjoy each and every step.

Bruce Richard

bnrichardathotmail.com