Human beings are complicated. We're not single-minded, we don't just like one thing, and we are often full of contradictions. Today's deck is a glaring example of just such a complication.

I spent last week talking at great length about the good ol' days. I talked about how much I miss the slower, battle-cruiser-style games of Commander we used to play when the format started. Finding a card which said "each opponent" was super exciting, and ramp was slow, awkward, and naturally kept the games from growing too far out of control. I remember getting run over by a Rafiq of the Many with a Berserk and being stunned when I took 32 Commander damage.

And I mean it! I mean every word of it. I want to play more slow games, with less-tuned decks and more casual interaction, fewer cards tailor-made for the format. One of the charms of it was how we had to figure out how to make a deck work with cards that didn't want to do what we needed them to do.

However, I also really like to play mean, Black-based control decks. The kind that make the rest of the table grumpy.

My editor/dad has been bugging me about building this deck for my column. He's been saying all sorts of things about how horrible it was - it was mean, it required the entire rest of the table to gang up just to keep it under control, it took long turns (it didn't, actually, he just remembers it the exact opposite of fondly), etc., etc. And - except for the long turns - he was right.

To my credit, at the time I had two or three decks, so this one showed up a lot more. I now have a stable of over 50 decks and cycle through them regularly, so the few I have which fall into this category (or any oppressive category, really) show up rarely - my Narset, Enlightened Master wins by taking a bunch of extra Attack steps and extra turns and is wildly difficult to contain if you let me attack a single time... but I only play it once a year or so. Back then, I played this mean deck all the time, and if the table didn't contain me, I dragged out the game for hours, making people sit there knowing they couldn't do anything while I slowly beat them up one by one. It was brutal.

But that's the contradiction, isn't it? I really want more casual, fun, less-cutthroat games, except when I don't. We're all like that. I guess the best we can do is be honest about it. I suspect part of it is most of my games are far more ruthless now, so I jones for a lighter experience. Perhaps if all we did was goof off with Bracket 1 and no one ever actually won because the shop closed, I'd want more competitive play.

Anyway, to the deck. I took it apart years ago, but it still holds a place in my heart.

My first Commander deck was Vampire Kindred with Anowon, the Ruin Sage with nothing but Vampires. Then we went back to Mirrodin, and the Praetors came out, and Sheoldred sang my song. I slotted her in to the General slot, started shifting out the Vamps, and the terror of my LGS was born. I'd sit down and pull her out and everyone would grimace.

This is not my precise build - that is now lost to time - but when I ran it, it looked a little something like this.

Sheoldred, Whispering One | Commander | Mark Wischkaemper

• Commander (1)
• 1 Sheoldred, Whispering One

• Creatures (16)
• 1 Avatar of Woe
• 1 Butcher of Malakir
• 1 Fleshbag Marauder
• 1 Grave Titan
• 1 Kokusho, the Evening Star
• 1 Magus of the Coffers
• 1 Massacre Wurm
• 1 Moriok Replica
• 1 Myojin of Night's Reach
• 1 Nekrataal
• 1 Nirkana Revenant
• 1 Phyrexian Obliterator
• 1 Puppeteer Clique
• 1 Reiver Demon
• 1 Shriekmaw
• 1 Solemn Simulacrum

• Planeswalkers (2)
• 1 Liliana of the Dark Realms
• 1 Liliana Vess

• Instants (4)
• 1 Doom Blade
• 1 Go for the Throat
• 1 Sudden Spoiling
• 1 Vampiric Tutor

• Sorceries (17)
• 1 Beacon of Unrest
• 1 Beseech the Queen
• 1 Black Sun's Zenith
• 1 Damnation
• 1 Decree of Pain
• 1 Demonic Tutor
• 1 Diabolic Tutor
• 1 Dregs of Sorrow
• 1 Exsanguinate
• 1 Mutilate
• 1 Night's Whisper
• 1 Profane Command
• 1 Reanimate
• 1 Sign in Blood
• 1 Skulltap
• 1 Syphon Flesh
• 1 Syphon Mind

• Enchantments (5)
• 1 Animate Dead
• 1 Black Market
• 1 Contamination
• 1 Grave Pact
• 1 Phyrexian Arena

• Artifacts (15)
• 1 Ashnod's Altar
• 1 Caged Sun
• 1 Charcoal Diamond
• 1 Expedition Map
• 1 Gauntlet of Power
• 1 Guilded Lotus
• 1 Jet Medallion
• 1 Lashwrithe
• 1 Lightning Greaves
• 1 Mind Stone
• 1 Mind's Eye
• 1 Phyrexian Totem
• 1 Skullclamp
• 1 Sol Ring
• 1 Worn Powerstone

• Lands (40)
• 30 Swamp
• 1 Barren Moor
• 1 Bojuka Bog
• 1 Evolving Wilds
• 1 Cabal Coffers
• 1 Crypt of Agadeem
• 1 High Market
• 1 Reliquary Tower
• 1 Terramorphic Expanse
• 1 Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth
• 1 Vesuva

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The deck did two things which made it very strong: it made an absolute ton of mana, and it didn't let people have Creatures. These were huge problems back then. Big mana didn't exist like it does now, and Creatures were how most people won the game.

Even back then, I would have run close to 40 Lands, so this isn't far off. But the key was getting Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth and Cabal Coffers into play. The tutors in the deck were there primarily to find one of those two pieces, and a hand with either in it was almost certainly kept. If I got both of those out, the next target was Vesuva, copying Cabal Coffers. After that, it was Nirkana Revenant to double even more, and Magus of the Coffers for even more absurdity. I was easily making 40 mana a turn by turn eight or so. Caged Sun and Gauntlet of Power both did a lot of work, and the mana rocks would help power out an early Sheoldred or wrath effect if someone got going quickly. Liliana of the Dark Realms is really there to keep pulling extra Swamps and hitting our Land drops, but getting to her ultimate was not unusual and also helped with the mana ramp.

It also drew a fair number of cards, especially for a Non-Blue deck. Sign in Blood and Night's Whisper were both around, but you also have gems like Syphon Mind and Mind's Eye (I remember one game where I'd tap a Swamp to pay for Mind's Eye and have to throw away because every Swamp was tapping for four! I was glad Wizards had changed the rule for Mana Burn). Phyrexian Arena is still awesome, Skullclamp is great in a deck like this, and honestly Decree of Pain functioned as a card draw spell more often than a Wrath. Nothing like playing that the turn after a big Genesis Wave from your friend.

Primarily the deck attempted to control the board, which it did in multiple ways. Sheoldred, of course, makes people keep sacrificing their stuff, but that was doubled up with cards like Grave Pact and Butcher of Malakir. Fleshbag Maurader was always nice to find, and the fact Sheoldred could keep bringing it back and doing it again was brutal. Then we had Syphon Flesh, which left us with a few Zombies we could chump with. Black Sun's Zenith and Damnation joined Dregs of Sorrow (another great card draw spell!) and Mutilate to keep the board clear. Reiver Demon often opened up the board for a massive attack, and Shriekmaw could be a repeatable Doom Blade. Plus we've got Doom Blade.

The deck also just ran some sheer power with cards like Reanimate, Puppeteer Clique, and Profane Command. Stealing things out of other people's Graveyards and proceeding to wallop them with it was a common strategy and probably the most normal way for the deck to win. Then again, Phyrexian Obliterator can do a lot of damage to an unsuspecting opponent; Kokusho, the Evening Star can be cycled to wipe out a table pretty quickly; and Massacre Wurm, deployed correctly, can win a game all by itself.

This deck will almost certainly create a long game with plenty of time to try things and talk to your friends. As long as everyone is cool with a lot of board resets and board control, plus everyone wants something of a challenge to stay in the game, it should work. That's why we have the Rule 0 conversations before the game begins. And if everyone isn't into that today (or my dad is playing)? Play something else. Your time will come. Just keep asking.

Thanks for reading.