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Fat Cat's On the Attack!

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"Revenge is a dish best served cold. Unlike lasagna."

What makes for the perfect party?

Is it the chaotic excess of the evening? Opulent food and drink? Perhaps a riotous hangover the next morning? All are mere surface-level achievements, humble accessories to what truly defines a gathering. You could tear down the literal roof with spectacle, but at the end of the day, all that really matters are the people celebrating alongside you. Friends and family elevate any occasion into something deeper, something that sticks with you long after the keg runs dry.

Just ask Jetmir, Nexus of Revels, the literal Fat-Cat who embodies hedonism. But only at first glance. In truth, for all his penchants for debauchery, the head of the Caberetti Family would give up all the glitz and glam without pause if it meant protecting his family and friends. Even the grandest feast is nothing without companions to savor it. And if the occasional enemy has to disappear under mysterious circumstances in order to protect said associates? Well, that's just business. Nothin' personal.

Jetmir, Nexus of Revels

Leave the removal. Take the cannoli.

In the times of ancient Capenna, the Cabaretti were a band of nature-worshipping druids. A deep connection to the natural world made them quick to realize that the key to a person's happiness was keeping them entertained. Despite their bond to plants and animals, it was the Cabaretti fondness for festivities that became their claim to fame. Jetmir, Nexus of Revels is an embodiment of this. In his eyes, there's more to living than mere survival. If you're really gonna make the most of your time on this mortal coil, you've gotta embrace life. Thrive to the fullest extent. Eat good food, dance your heart out, and make friends along the way. He's all the instinctual philosophy of Green with a solid dash of Red-centric passion and White-centric concern for the community. If you're part of his inner circle, your life's bound to be one of enjoyment. However, if you pose a threat, your sudden adornment of cement shoes and new home at the bottom of the river will come swiftly. Jetmir's surface appears all fun and games, but within that rotund frame lies the calculating mind of a mafia kingpin.

Converting that duplicity to the Commander table is a natural fit, as Jetmir, Nexus of Revels comes across as a simple creature-centric general. His agenda isn't subtle: amass an army, start swinging, and keep adding to the ranks. It's easy to wave away such a gameplan when life totals start at 40, as Commander is realm of copious mass removal. Most opponents will be content to let the feline and friends have some fun, but the moment they get too dangerous, proceed to sweep away the board. Easy to manage, right?

Unless each card we play makes three or more creatures at a time.

Jetmir has many friends and allies, many of whom are able to generate whole swaths of replacement troops all at once. The Caberetti might be just as susceptible to sweepers as any other creature-based deck, but their true power lies in how fast they can regroup. And with Jetmir, Nexus of Revels on the table, it doesn't take long for even a small band of newly-minted creatures to turn deadly. All the while, big-daddy Fat Cat will be laughing with wine in hand.

Monastery Mentor by Magali Villeneuve

These guys are ready to party.

Let's start by breaking down our fun-loving Commander:

Luminarch Ascension
Increasing Devotion

1. Jetmir, Nexus of Revels asks only for friends. The more you can give him, the better. And he'll reward you for your community efforts. With Fat Cat in play, a simple 2 additional bodies are enough to grant everyone Vigilance and a slight power boost. Compared to Steps 2 and 3, this initial boost might seem trivial, but in truth, means you'll never have to split the team into attackers and blockers. This means activating cards like Luminarch Ascension, or maintaining the Monarch, is made much easier. All the while, you can still apply pressure. Once Jetmir gets 5 friends, which many cards get us in one swoop (Ex. Increasing Devotion, Call the Coppercoats, etc.), your team's boost becomes a sizeable +2, with added trample to push through damage. If you manage to live the dream and assemble an army of nine, opponents are gonna start dying fast. A +3 stat boost in conjunction with trample and double strike means even the smallest creature is hitting for 7 damage. And at this point, you've got at least nine of them, Jetmir included. That's enough to kill players outright, much less after an entire game of your army chipping away at life totals.

Kamahl's Will
Sylvan Awakening

2. With all the swarming going on, it becomes easy to overlook Jetmir, Nexus of Revels's own stats, which are sizable right off the bat. For an initial cost of only four mana, we're getting a 5-power general that grows in power and keywords as the game progresses. With a full army, Fat Cat swings for a massive sixteen trampling damage in a single rumble. While the rest of your army is off overwhelming other players, Jetmir can easily go Voltron on another entirely via Commander damage, a feat many a token-centric Commander cannot accomplish on their own. Land-animating Instants like Kamahl's Will and Sylvan Awakening can suddenly grant you a large team out of nowhere, turning what initially appeared a normal attack into a lethal swing.

Tendershoot Dryad
Dragon Broodmother

3. Creature-based strategies often rely on the likes of Teferi's Protection and company to prevent sweepers from ruining the day, but our deck has another trick up its sleeve. Every token generator in our deck has the potential to make three bodies at minimum, allowing fast recovery in the wake of a 'wrath. What's more, this means each one of our spells 'turns on' the next level of Jetmir, Nexus of Revels's abilities. Aside from 'army-in-a-can' style Instants like Entrapment Maneuver, Arachnogenesis, and Rith's Charm, even our own creatures are skilled at making other creatures, with a single turn cycle seeing cards like Tendershoot Dryad and Dragon Broodmother spawn copious offspring.

Mace of the Valiant
Cathars' Crusade

4. The combination of ever-growing army + ever-growing Commander makes for an effective one-two punch, but we can go even further by synergizing with cards that reward us for maximizing our creature count. Classics Cathars' Crusade and Beastmaster Ascension dramatically speed up how quickly our forces become lethal, especially once Fat Cat's double-strike is reached. Alternatively, cards like Mace of the Valiant and Paladin Class allow us to turn a single threat into an opponent-killer. With our army attacking in one direction, Jetmir in another, and a Mace-wielding Saproling going after the final opponent, our deck has the potential to conquer the entire table in one mighty attack phase! How's that for an epic party?

In review, though our deck is capable of taking full advantage of Jetmir, Nexus of Revels via numerous token-producers, we also have the flexibility to attack battle-cruiser style with cards that reward our high creature count. A two-pronged approach that'll attempt to overthrow the table with one final alpha strike. To add extra hot sauce, we'll also bring in some classic critical-masse style finishers to ensure this gala is one for the New Capenna history books.

So, without further ado, let's crack open the vino and dive into this deck!

Aura Shards by Ron Spencer

Uh oh, looks like someone spiked the punch.

Fat Cat's On the Attack! | Commander | Matthew Lotti


Like many Commander decks, we'll want to start off accelerating our mana base. We do run a handful of cheaper token-producing effects, so alongside the usual assortment of ramp, we also bring in creature-centric forms such as Harvest Season and Song of Freyalise. These cards help us develop our board without falling behind on mana. By the time Jetmir, Nexus of Revels arrives, we should already have at least 3 creatures on board and be ready to start attacking. Each follow-up turn can then be spent adding to the team and chipping away at enemy life totals. Damage will add up quickly, so don't be too quick to fire off every token-maker you get. You'll want to hang on to some protection (Grand Crescendo, etc.) to keep your forces safe, or keep an army-in-a-can style card (Ex. Nomads' Assembly) in reserve to immediately rebuild your board in the event of a sweeper.

Hanweir Garrison
Adeline, Resplendent Cathar
Tilonalli's Summoner

Party Animals: Our general incentivizes us to attack, so we'll start our guest list with a review of attendees who bring buddies each time they enter combat. Hero of Bladehold, Hanweir Garrison, and Adeline, Respledent Cathar add two-to-three additional creatures to the battlefield with each attack, quickly escalating Jetmir's impact. With our vast production of creatures, Tillonalli's Summoner should have little trouble reaching the City's Blessing, allowing whole swarms of Elementals to appear in mid-attack, fully-amped up by Jetmir's influence, and hanging around to attack on following turns.

Other token-making troops reward us for simply playing the game, with Monastery Mentor, Scute Swarm, and Dragonlair Spider triggering off common plays, or the aforementioned Tendershoot Dryad and Dragon Broodmother merely having to sit in play to generate value. All these creatures, combined with our penchant for combat, make Twilight Drover and Rhys the Redeemed into absolute engines as the game progresses. Later on, as mana accumulates, cards like Avenger of Zendikar and Hooded Hydra grow all the more potent.

Rocco, Cabaretti Caterer
Rumor Gatherer
Jinnie Fay, Jetmir's Second

The Cabaretti are in the business of celebration, so it's only fitting that Jetmir would enlist the help of his closest associates to make the most of the evening. All these revelers will need a good meal, so Rocco, Cabaretti Caterer is on hand to provide whatever entree is needed most. Everything's delicious, but with all these creature tokens getting produced, I'd recommend Rumor Gatherer to help keep your hand full, and to cycle away unneeded cards. Her impact on the game can be tremendous. Another fun option is Jinnie Fay, Jetmir's Second, who can bring out the true party-animal in any humble 1/1 token. Note that her ability can sub-out any token, so if you'd rather your Smothering Tithe make kitty cats instead of treasure, then let the pet parade begin.

Craterhoof Behemoth

Finally, if you wanna talk about party-crashers, you need not look any further than good ole' Craterhoof Behemoth, the A-list celebrity superstar who's led countless token decks to sudden (and very stompy) victory. If the Cabaretti Club has a VIP section, you can bet Mr. Hoof has his own table.

March of the Multitudes
Nomads' Assembly
Artifact Mutation

The Festivities Continue: Our creatures aren't the only source of token-production in Jetmir's wheelhouse. Entire battalions can be generated at Instant-speed off the likes of Secure the Wastes, March of the Multitudes, Call the Coppercoats, and Grand Crescendo. The perfect end-of-turn play once your opponents' window for a wrath has shut. Another fun, and likely unexpected, late-game move is animating all your lands into creatures via Sylvan Awakening and Kamahl's Will, which should immediately enable Jetmir's, and by extension your army's, full power. Then it's just a matter of swarming your foes with lethal lands. Amongst other brawlers. At sorcery speed, Nomads' Assembly and Increasing Devotion are slower, but make up for it with repeatable casting.

We even tack token-production onto our utility spells for added value. Removal like Aura Mutation, Artifact Mutation, Entrapment Maneuver give us troops as a reward for blowing things up. Arachnogenesis keeps us alive with added bonus spiders. Even Legion's Landing, easy as it is to flip in our deck, essentially acts as ramp that can generate vampires!

Predatory Advantage
Elspeth, Sun's Champion
Rabble Rousing

While the aforementioned spells generate armies in bursts, we also pack engines that continually churn them out. Predatory Advantage, Rabble Rousing, and Sprout Swarm keep the tokens coming turn after turn. Remember, Sprout Swarm's Convoke cost can help pay for its own Buyback, meaning it easily scales into more and more Saprolings as the game progresses. After a while, you'll likely never have to even tap another land to recast it. Our gigantic family of celebrants also helps ensure Court of Grace, Elspeth, Sun's Champion, and Luminarch Ascension are at their best, as we should have copious blockers keeping each active as they proceed to make even more creatures.

Parallel Lives
Aura Shards
Divine Visitation

Our token strategy has many synergistic components to support our 'the more, the merrier' disposition. One could hardly consider a token deck without the duo of Parallel Lives and Anointed Procession to double the fun. Out of control parties can cause damage, as evident by the havoc a single Aura Shards can reap throughout the game. Guests also have the tendency to amp each other up, so it's no surprise the likes of Divine Visitation, Cathars' Crusade, Huatli, Radiant Champion, and Beastmaster Ascension make an appearance to capitalize on the hoopla.

Titanic Ultimatum
Insurrection

Alas, all great parties must come to an end. So we might as well go out with a bang. Heavy-hitters Titanic Ultimatum and Insurrection wrap up the night in gloriously over-the-top fashion, with Jetmir, Nexus of Revels magnifying their finale-inducing impact.

Grand Crescendo
Hour of Reckoning
Blasphemous Act

Supporting Spells: The aforementioned Grand Crescendo can generate a sudden army, but is likely best employed as a defensive measure, a la' Teferi's Protection. These can protect our team from sweepers, or on a more diabolical note, pair up with a heavily-discounted Blasphemous Act to remove only enemy creatures. Our second sweeper, Hour of Reckoning, similarly has the potential to leave much of our team unscathed once the dust settles. The added Convoke also makes our ability to protect non-tokens easier to manage off an aforementioned protective spell or Emeria's Call // Emeria, Shattered Skyclave. Gotta be demoralizing for our opponents to see only their armies vanquished while we generate 8-power worth of angelic fury.

Harvest Season
Song of Freyalise
Smothering Tithe

Mana Support and Rocks: Access to Green gives us the usual cornucopia of ramp staples (Three Visits, Farseek, Cultivate). We also run plenty of on-color rocks (Boros Charm, Arcane Signet, etc.), but our heavy creature count provides a few unique option for building our mana base. Harvest Season, for one, will have to be played carefully with Jetmir, Nexus of Revels to ensure his mass-vigilance doesn't prevent the spell from operating, but its potential to ramp up into huge numbers of lands is too high to pass up. Song of Freyalise may not provide a permanent source of mana, but it scales with our creature count and acts as another stat-boost and protective element at its third chapter, allowing worry-free attacks or one of our own follow-up sweepers.

Kher Keep
Mosswort Bridge
Sokenzan, Crucible of Defiance

When it comes to our lands, themselves, we include the pivotal Naya fetch (Wooded Foothills, Windswept Heath, Arid Mesa) and shock lands (Temple Garden, Stomping Grounds, Sacred Foundry) among other on-color fixers (Spectator Seating, Fire-Lit Thicket, etc.). The real fun comes from the number of utility lands that either make creatures (Castle Ardenvale, Sokenzan, Crucible of Defiance, Kher Keep), boost our team (card]Castle Embereth[/card], Gavony Township), or even provide card advantage (Windbrisk Heights, Mosswort Bridge).

Or, if you really want to live the dream...er, nightmare, then pair up your Hanweir Battlements with a Hanweir Garrison to really "bring the party together".

Witnessing this would likely motivate you to see a therapist, but I'm pretty sure his office is in there somewhere.

Rith's Charm by David Martin

Budget Options: With entire Halo Fountains at their disposal, I doubt the Caberetti have an issue with money. Jetmir, Nexus of Revels and his vivacious friends may not have obtained said capital legally, but it lines their silk pockets all the same. Most of us 1/1 Citizen tokens aren't so lucky, so here are some substitutes for players who'd rather not break the bank on cardboard. All cards over $20 will be noted and recommended for swap-outs. If anything seems interesting, regardless of price tag, give them a roll in the main! Creativity is a oft-forgotten cornerstone of Commander. One of the aspects that makes it special. Mix and match card choices to your heart's content!

Boss's Chauffeur
Mycoloth
Welcoming Vampire

Creatures: Craterhoof Behemoth: $37.00

No surprise, our high-roller in the VIP section is outside budget. That's okay, as plenty of token-friendly attendees are happy to fill his sizable hoof-prints. If we're looking for replacement creatures that make more tokens, consider cards like Mycoloth, Myojin of Blooming Dawn, Darien, King of Kjeldor, Trostani Discordant, Boss's Chauffeur, and Knight Captain of Eos.

If you're in the ballpark for more utility/synergy, instead consider card advantage outlets like Voice of Many, Mentor of the Meek, and Welcoming Vampire, or creatures that scale with your ever growing army like Champion of Lambholt, Wayfaring Temple, and Nullmage Shepherd.

Supporting Spells: Parallel Lives: $50.00, Teferi's Protection: $42.00, Anointed Procession: $40.00, Arachnogenesis: $32.00,

Guardian of Faith
Outlaws' Merriment
Glare of Subdual

The loss of both Parallel Lives and Anointed Procession to the budget-reaper hurts, but Second Harvest can make for at least a one-shot duplication effect. Both Guardian of Faith and Rootborn Defenses can be swapped in to replace Teferi's Protection, with each granting you an extra creature atop its protective element. If you're in the market for making more creature tokens, plenty of options like Outlaws' Merriment, Assemble the Legion, Deploy to the Front, Storm Herd, Sundering Growth, Empty the Warrens, Conqueror's Pledge, and the new Scepter of Celebration provide fun alternatives.

A variety of synergistic options are on hand, as well. Glare of Subdual, Overwhelming Stampede, Crescendo of War, Burn at the Stake, and Symbiotic Deployment can all provide potentially game-breaking effects with a large-enough army.

Epic Struggle

Or, if you really wanna go for that epic win.

Mana Options: Smothering Tithe: $50.00, Wooded Foothills: $40.00, Windswept Heath: $30.00, Arid Mesa: $27.00, Sacred Foundry: $21.00, Bountiful Promenade: $20.00

When it comes to lands, I'm confident the price of Bountiful Promenade and its fellow Battlebond Allied-cycle will be getting cheaper with the release of Commander Legends: Battle for Baldur's Gate later this summer. In the meantime, on-color budget cards like Jungle Shrine, Rith's Grove, the Cycling lands (Ex. Scattered Groves), and Slow-Fetches (Ex. Mountain Valley) can jump in as replacements for the pricier lands.

Den of the Bugbear
Raging Ravine
Needle Spires

With our deck's desire to maximize creature-count, you might also consider bringing in Man-Lands like Den of the Bugbear, Lair of the Hydra, Raging Ravine, Needle Spires, or Stirring Wildwood. These lands sneak by Sorcery-speed removal, especially mass removal, and can be handy when dealing the final points of damage to an opponent.

Artifact Mutation by Greg Staples

Well, it's getting late, and I'm not the young partygoer I used to be. I'll let Jetmir, Nexus of Revels and his cohorts keep the festivities going as I head off to bed. Heck, it's already 10 p.m., for cryin' out loud. How late do these hooligans plan on staying up? Well, let's just hope their ongoing celebrations result in the annihilation of our opponents, too. After all, Fat Cat is still a Leonin of business. And threats to the family won't be taken lightly. I may be turning in for the night, but it's our opponents who'll soon find themselves sleeping among the fishes.

Thanks for reading, and may your parties be the stuff of legend.

-Matt-

@Intrepid_Tautog


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