What is punk?

If you need to ask, you probably aren't punk. It's OK - neither am I.

I'll spare you the deep dive into punk subculture, music, fashion, and politics. I'd just be regurgitating stuff out of Wikipedia, and in a lot of ways I'm about as far from punk as you can get. In the late 1980's my two favorite bands were probably General Public and Van Halen. I'm intensely anti-autoritarian, increasingly anti-establishment, and have little use for capitalism, but that's about where my punk tendencies end.

If you're wondering what all of that has to do with Magic, the Gathering, it's because I decided to try my hand at building a punk-themed deck around one of the many weird cards in the upcoming Spider-Man set.

This Spider Human Hero has Riot, which means he enters with a +1/+1 counter or haste. He'll give other Spiders I control Riot but that's not the most interesting thing about this card. When Spider-Punk is in play, spells and abilities can't be countered, and damage can't be prevented.

Those last two lines have caught the attention of cEDH deckbuilders and put Spider-Punk into a weird design space. He has great potential as a way to protect combo wins in high power and cEDH play. He's also got a role as a low powered spider support card in Gruul and Rakdos spider kindred decks, along with other color combinations. Red on its own doesn't have much in the way of spiders unless you decide to run every red spider card in this new set.

I'm not that interested in Universes Beyond or in Spider Man, but I'm also not that interested in building a completely optimized combo deck built to take advantage of Spider-Punk's ability to protect a win. What I decided to build is a deck with as much of a Punk aesthetic as I could possibly cram into my library without totally sacrificing the ability to threaten a win.

That Punk Look

Nobody gets to tell you or anyone else that you're not punk. The whole point is that punk has no time for, or interest in, authority figures. Anyone who is going to decree that something is (or isn't) punk is probably suspect and best ignored. I might suggest that it's like pornography - you know it when you see it.

That's not at all helpful for choosing cards for this deck so I'm going to lean on familiar stereotypes. If you decide to build this deck and any of my choices are too lame to keep in the list, by all means find cards that are edgier and that speak to your own rebellious punk heart.

It's hard not to include at least a few characters with mohawks in this deck. Styling your hair in a way that is radically different from "normal" hairstyles has been associated with punk for decades. Whether your intention is to shock your parents and teachers, or just express yourself without caring what others think - spiky, brightly colored hair is very punk.

I included a bunch of cards with the riot keyword, including Burning-Tree Vandal and Ghor-Clan Wrecker. The enchantment Uncivil Unrest is also in the list and will give nontoken creatures I control riot. Crimson Mage, Endrider Spikespitter, and Frontline Rebel also have a similar feel and I generally tried to avoid creatures that didn't have a punk look.

Ilharg, the Raze-Boar is a Boar God with what looks like a fiery green mohawk that goes all the way down its back. It's a 6/6 with trample and when it attacks I can put a creature card from my hand into play tapped and attacking. That creature gets returned to my hand at the beginning of the next end step. This deck isn't designed to make the most of Ilharg, but it's a good card with the right look so it made the cut.

Another strange choice in my list is Rose, Cutthroat Raider. The "raider look" in Magic generally has a punk feel, and Rose is no exception. This 3/2 Robot has first strike and will make junk artifact tokens which can be turned into impulse draw. The punk movement has a huge DIY aspect to it, so making something useful out of junk feels right for this deck. Also - look at those chains and spikes. I think I like Rose for this list even more than I like Ilharg.

The Punk Attitude

I've been struggling with my writing for a few months now. I don't want to pretend to love cards I'm not excited about, and I've written for a long time (well over 400 columns). This week's installment of Commanderruminations could have been my farewell, but I was at the supermarket this past weekend and a song by The Clash started playing. At my local store it could have just as easily been a song by Gordon Lightfoot, or something even tamer. Instead it was a song by one of the most influential bands in the first wave of British punk rock.

I took it as a sign.

Punk is anti-establishment, anti-authority, and all about rebellion and revolution. Given that I'm writing in an era that is witnessing the rise of what can only be described as authoritarianism or even fascism in America, I decided it was a good time to share a deck with as many "antifa" cards as I could find.

Anarchist is a card I've almost put into red decks at least a dozen times. Five mana for an Archaeomancer that only gets you a sorcery isn't great, but it's nothing if not on theme.

Rebelling against authority in the context of Magic: The Gathering often implies rebelling against a Monarchy, as many sets have a medieval fantasy feel to them. The dethrone keyword felt right for this deck so I added Enraged Revolutionary, Scourge of the Throne, and Treasonous Ogre. Whenever a creature with dethrone attacks the player with the most life, you put a +1/+1 counter on it.

I was just turning seven years old when Anarchy in the U.K. was released by the Sex Pistols way back in 1976. The theme of anarchy is about as punk as you can get, and goes all the way back to the movement's roots. The sorcery spell Anarchy is from Ice Age, and will destroy all white permanents for four mana. While punk is anti-racist, it isn't necessarily anti-white, but the card's name made it impossible for me to resist.

For everyone who might see their mono-White deck wiped out by this weird old wrath... too bad. You were probably playing soldiers and I'm guessing punk is probably about as anti-soldier as you can get. Also, White has more boardwipes than any other color... so deal with it.

I then went looking for cards that might give me the feel of a mosh pit, and I did end up running Party Thrasher and an old aura called Aggression, which gives target non-wall creature first strike and trample and if it didn't attack that turn it gets destroyed. Beyond that I ended up looking at some familiar cards that felt on theme even if they didn't exactly feel like a mosh pit.

Disrupt Decorum is about the best I could find. This four mana sorcery will goad all creatures I don't control. Anarchist can even get it back for me, in case one round of carnage and chaos isn't enough. I thought about adding Avatar of Slaughter, but decided against it, as it might backfire on more more often than not. Avatar of Slaughter felt more metal than punk, though the two subcultures are closer to each other than you might think.

Incite Rebellion is in the list for its name, though it's also a serviceable boardwipe and a neat way to kill someone who has more creatures than their life total. It hits everyone, so I might sometimes be in a situation where I can't cast it or I'd kill myself.

Mob Rule and Insurrection are two potential ways to be able to close out a game. I never run Insurrection as it feels way too easy and cheap a way to win, but it's fitting enough for this deck's theme that I decided to include it. You do have to have a lot of creatures in play, but I try to pay attention to how a table feels at the end of a game and Insurrection usually leaves players feeling deflated, disappointed, and annoyed.

How We Win

I've told you that I'm no expert on what is or isn't "punk", so I genuinely don't know if there is a punk approach to winning and losing. It's just a game and we are trying to have fun, so I expect you are going to play what you want while also trying to have a fun game for everyone.

I don't think being punk means being a jerk.

I think it means being yourself - as authentically and unapologetically as possible.

If it's in your heart to play mass land destruction in a low powered game where nobody else is there for that kind of nonsense, I guess you go ahead and do it, but it also makes you a jerk. Don't start wondering why nobody wants to play Magic with you.

This deck could just go all in on theme and not really worry about having a clear wincon. I decided not to do that, as there is a legendary Goblin that felt very on theme and also very capable of winning games. Not you, Grenzo, Havoc Raiser, though you are in today's list.

Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker needs no introduction. This 2/2 Goblin Shaman has haste and can tap to create a token that is a copy of target nonlegendary creature you control, except the token has haste and gets sacrificed at the beginning of the next end step. When combined with Combat Celebrant or Zealous Conscripts, you can untap Kiki-Jiki to do it again and again until you have an arbitrarily large army of hasty attackers.

Kiki combo is hardly something new, but the character felt like a good fit and I'm not leaning so heavily into combo lines that I should simply run Kiki-Jiki as the commander. I am running Port Razer, which can also combo with my commander pretty nicely. If I've got a way to get Port Razer through blockers I'll untap my team and get another combat step. It probably won't get out of control, as players usually have blockers, but in the right situation it can just win the game with infinite combat steps.

The other wincon I've got in today's list is Heartless Hidetsugu. This Ogre Shaman taps to deal damage to each player equal to half of their life total, rounded down. When you give Heartless Hidetsugu lifelink, you'll gain all of that life. If you have a damage doubler and an opponent is at an even life total, they'll just die. If they're at an odd life total, they'll end up at 2 life and you'll either have an easy time closing out the game, or they'll have a great story to tell about the game later on.

A dedicated Heartless Hidetsugu deck, much like a dedicated Kiki-Jiki deck, would look very different from today's list, but I'm comfortable with where this first draft ended up. It's got a few ways to try to win, it's got a lot of cards that felt "punk" to me, and it should be a pretty entertaining deck to play.

Smash the System

If this deck plays well, it will be a fun, aggressive list that sees you attacking a lot. If you get stuck in a boardstate where you don't have good attacks, you bide your time and wait for an Insurrection, or something like it. I made a lot of concessions to being on theme and left cards like Etali, Primal Storm out even though they felt pretty good because they just weren't punk enough. I suppose I could always paint a mohawk on my Etali, but ultimately it didn't feel right.

Maskwood Nexus might be the most interesting off-theme card in this list, as it will make all of my creatures into spiders. They'll also be Angels, Dinosaurs, Advisors, Knights, Soldiers, and every other creature type, but it's in the list so that they are Spiders my commander can give them riot.

Spider-Punk | Commander | Stephen Johnson

• Commander (1)
• 1 Spider-Punk

• Creatures (29)
• 1 Anarchist
• 1 Burning-Tree Vandal
• 1 Champion of the Flame
• 1 Coercive Recruiter
• 1 Combat Celebrant
• 1 Crimson Mage
• 1 Endrider Spikespitter
• 1 Enraged Revolutionary
• 1 Fiendish Duo
• 1 Frontline Rebel
• 1 Ghor-Clan Wrecker
• 1 Grenzo, Havoc Raiser
• 1 Heartless Hidetsugu
• 1 Ilharg, the Raze-Boar
• 1 Ire Shaman
• 1 Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker
• 1 Magus of the Wheel
• 1 Noise Marine
• 1 Party Thrasher
• 1 Port Razer
• 1 Professional Face-Breaker
• 1 Rose, Cutthroat Raider
• 1 Scourge of the Throne
• 1 Solphim, Mayhem Dominus
• 1 Treasonous Ogrefoil
• 1 Twinflame Tyrant
• 1 Urabrask the Hidden
• 1 Urabrask, Heretic Praetor
• 1 Zealous Conscripts

• Spells (16)
• 1 Chaos Warp
• 1 Lightning Bolt
• 1 Act on Impulse
• 1 Anarchy
• 1 Apex of Power
• 1 Blasphemous Act
• 1 Chandra's Ignition
• 1 Disrupt Decorum
• 1 Incite Rebellion
• 1 Insurrection
• 1 Mana Geyser
• 1 Mob Rule
• 1 Reforge the Soul
• 1 Vandalblast
• 1 Wheel of Fate
• 1 Wheel of Misfortune

• Enchantments (6)
• 1 Aggravated Assault
• 1 Aggression
• 1 Outpost Siege
• 1 Possibility Storm
• 1 Uncivil Unrest
• 1 Valakut Exploration

• Artifacts (8)
• 1 Basilisk Collar
• 1 Caged Sun
• 1 Loxodon Warhammer
• 1 Maskwood Nexus
• 1 Ruby Medallion
• 1 Shadowspear
• 1 Sol Ring
• 1 The Fire Crystal

• Lands (40)
• 37 Mountain
• 1 Rogue's Passage
• 1 Swarmyard
• 1 Valakut, the Molten Pinnacle

Buy This Deck Export text

If you wanted to tune this list down your first step would be to drop out the combo lines. I think Kiki-Jiki is the kind of card that will get a range of reactions. Some folks will be annoyed to see it at all outside of cEDH, and some will just deal with it and remember that interaction is important at all levels of play. You might also drop out Insurrection if your playgroup feels like it's not a fun way to see games end.

To tune this list up, I think you'd probably lean into combo wins with the idea of using Spider-Punk as a way to lock players out of stopping you from winning. The problem is that it also stops them from using countermagic to stop anyone else from winning. If you lean enough in one direction, such as with Kiki-Jiki combo, you'll need to ask why you aren't just running Kiki-Jiki as your commander.

Final Thoughts

I'm still torn about the inclusion of Kiki-Jiki, and to a lesser extent, Heartless Hidetsugu, in this list, but I felt like they fit in pretty well. I'm sure there are lots of cards with very punk artwork that I didn't think of when writing this column. Is the art on Young Pyromancer, Jaya Ballard, or Madcap Skills better representations of punk than some of the cards I chose today? Maybe, but maybe not. What is a punk outfit to one person might look like a BDSM outfit to another, and one person's metal vibe could easily be another person's punk aesthetic.

If you're interested in having your own punk themed EDH deck, Spider-Punk is a great place to start. I don't have to tell you that it's probably more punk to proxy the card than to buy it, but some of those card variants are super sweet so I won't blame you if you pick up the real thing.

I'm probably going to try to find more Spider Man cards to write about as the month goes on. One of the things I love about sharing these columns is doing the work of figuring out ways to make each new installment interesting and fresh. It was fun to dig into this topic and with any luck I'll find an equally interesting column to write for next week.

Thanks for reading and I'll hopefully see you next week!