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Through Thick and Thin

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Once you’ve spent a lot of time with a particular problem, it’s easy to think that you understand it. Every time a new set comes out, I comb the spoiler for cards I might build around, and I then begin to brew up lists for all of my crazy notions. Most of them don’t work, to the point that I never even complete a decklist because there’s no way for it to work. But times change.

Let’s go back to 2011. The Magic: The Gathering Commander decks are coming out, and everyone’s trying to build around the new legends. That includes me, and being a lover of enormous creatures, The Mimeoplasm immediately catches my eye.

Using big monsters that are hard to keep on the board isn’t the only thing I think of. Making The Mimeoplasm into a huge infect creature certainly gets the job done quickly, as does playing a self-mill deck. But I have a cooler idea: Use old Mimey to copy something like this:

Woodfall Primus

Then when it dies, it persists, perhaps copying something like this:

Puppeteer Clique

And so on and so forth.

The issue? There really aren’t that many useful persist creatures in these colors, and it’s really hard to justify playing something like Gravelgill Axeshark when your reward for doing so is getting to make it your commander.

But that was 2011. There have been a few changes since then:

Dark Ascension

Mikaeus, the Unhallowed

Return to Ravnica

Death's Presence

Gatecrash

Ivy Lane Denizen
Zameck Guildmage
Master Biomancer

Now every creature with persist is limitless sacrifice fodder and thus deserving of a spot. Of course, employing this strategy necessarily entails cutting cards like Ashnod's Altar that form infinite combos. If that’s the gameplay you want, might I recommend Modern?

With a viable build, I was left with very little excuse for not having a decklist, so I went ahead and fixed that.

Sacrificial Lambs

  • Commander (0)

The strategy here’s pretty simple: Get a self-recurring creature online, either by stocking the ’yard with persist creatures for Sir Dino-Arm, pairing a persistent critter with something to treat its Scars, or simply casting a Reassembling Skeleton. After that, start sacrificing it to whatever you have around, preferably generating huge advantages as a result of your Fecundity in the process. Well, that’s the endgame. How do we get there?

Oozing with Value

We sat down and busted out the commanders.

Maelstrom Wanderer
The Mimeoplasm
Hazezon Tamar
Progenitus

The Hazezon Tamar deck is pretty much what you’d expect, and Progenitus is just a figurehead for Jwari Shapeshifter and its Allies. The Wanderer deck, on the other hand, is full of card selection and redundant pieces of the Deceiver ExarchSplinter Twin combo. Yuck.

Anyhow, things started off with everybody just durdling around. Wait, did I say everybody? That’s not true. Hazezon played turn-one Sol Ring, turn-two Skyshroud Claim, turn-three Mirari's Wake with Greater Auramancy. That’s what we in the business call “a good start.” Progenitus’s start of Bojuka Brigand into Makindi Shieldmate wasn’t exactly succeeding at keeping the craziness in check.

Come his fourth turn, Maelstrom Wanderer, who had been ramping a little more slowly, cast Deceiver Exarch to untap a land and cast Jace, the Mind Sculptor. I, meanwhile, played an Ooze Garden before Hazezon cast Awakening Zone, Yavimaya Elder, and Primal Command for Sylvan Primordial. Some little creatures were cast, Sylvan Primordial cleaned up the noncreatures, and Hazezon came out to play.

Then, so did another commander:

Luckily, this combo attempt was already thwarted; apparently, Maelstrom Wanderer hadn’t been paying much attention to my dorky creature.

Undercity Informer

After Tamiyo tapped Sylvan Primordial down, I untapped and made sure Kiki-Jiki wasn’t about to be Recovered by making my own with The Mimeoplasm.

Hazezon Tamar’s next upkeep delivered eleven Sand Warrior tokens from his trigger, all huddled within the Gavony Township awaiting their fearless leader.

Elspeth Tirel

Things were really starting to get out of hand, so Maelstrom Wanderer decided to gain a bigger hand by tapping Hazezon’s forces with Cryptic Command and then using Tamiyo to draw fifteen cards.

At this point, I hit 9 mana and dealt with the Elspeth issue by casting Extractor Demon, making a hasty copy with Kiki-Jiki-Plasm, and then activating Novijen, Heart of Progress to give each of the Demons a sixth point of power. The token died, and I milled Wanderer before Progenitus cast Murasa Pyromancer and promptly killed . . . a Sand Warrior token. Gavony Township can be a brutal card sometimes.

Wanderer wandered out of the command zone again, this time bringing along Consecrated Sphinx, a Beast Within for Sylvan Primordial, and Strip Mine for Gavony Township. I opted to start milling myself with Extractor Demon triggers to complement my freshly drawn Dawn of the Dead and Zameck Guildmage.

Hazezon dropped Spawning Pit and Doubling Season before making an attack that took both Maelstrom Wanderer and me to 4 life, while the mana-flooded Progenitus sat at an irrelevant 25. The alpha strike had another effect: It filled my graveyard right up.

I responded to Dawn of the Dead’s triggers by activating Zameck Guildmage’s first ability.

Woodfall Primus

Even with both Kiki-Jiki and Miren, the Moaning Well to make Primus persist (without a counter, thanks to the Guildmage), I could only cut out a couple of Hazezon’s Spawning Pit activations, and soon, he controlled twenty 2/2s. Maelstrom Wanderer used Eternal Witness to rebuy Cryptic Command and give us another turn. Unfortunately, the five extra cards I drew by reviving, copying, and pumping Novijen Sages weren’t enough to find an out. The Spawn tokens, artifact and Eldrazi alike, crushed the table.

You Snooze, You Looze

This new concoction didn’t fire on all cylinders in the above game, and while I’m usually reluctant to rob myself of any added variance, it might be improved by adding some more tutors or card-draw. Alternatively, it might just require some more careful mulliganing. This game, I threw away my first persist creature looking for lands, and I didn’t do much for a whole lot of turns as a result. Nonetheless, it’s a lot of fun to play if you enjoy charting out your different options for when to sacrifice what and for which effect. It’s like a deck built around Kresh the Bloodbraided or Shirei, Shizo's Caretaker—only, you know, crazier. What can I say? I’m an addict, but if you can’t quit the crazy either, make sure to check back on Monday for something really off the wall.

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