Magic is unique in a way that it has somehow managed to keep my interest for five years now.

I'm the kind of person who spends a small fortune on supplies for oil painting, draws everything around me for seventy-two hours straight, and never returns to it again. All video games that I've ever played I grew bored of in a couple months tops. I start going insane if I live in the same place for over seven months. I get sick of all my music and need to transfigure the entire contents of my iPod about annually. I crave change; I get a high from new surroundings and new activities.

So when I finally decided I was willing to invest in Constructed, starting with Standard, I thought it would be the most exciting thing ever—aside from drafting, but that goes without saying.

Instead, I initially found it very difficult to get the joy all my friends were getting by sleeving up their seventy-fives. The last two months have been a journey of self-discovery for me as I’ve searched for the reasons behind this.

All the Wrong Reasons

In March, I was all like, "I'm writing articles now, so I will be a serious player! And serious players can't just draft all the time!" (Insert profuse sobbing.)

So during our byes at Grand Prix: Nashville, I asked my friend Steve Guillerm, for a small fee, to go around to dealers and traders and buy me the exact copy of Matt Costa's Baltimore Mage-Blade list. Just like that. I’ve never really bought cards or traded before (I'm as Limited as they come . . . ), so I was sure he'd save me more money than what I gave him for his help.

"Mage-Blade by Matthew Costa"

• Creatures (15)
• 3 Invisible Stalker
• 4 Delver of Secrets
• 4 Snapcaster Mage
• 4 Geist of Saint Traft

• Spells (24)
• 2 Dismember
• 2 Thought Scour
• 4 Mana Leak
• 4 Vapor Snag
• 4 Gitaxian Probe
• 4 Ponder
• 2 Runechanter's Pike
• 2 Sword of War and Peace

• Lands (21)
• 1 Plains
• 9 Island
• 3 Moorland Haunt
• 4 Glacial Fortress
• 4 Seachrome Coast

• Sideboard (15)
• 1 Batterskull
• 2 Phantasmal Image
• 2 Celestial Purge
• 2 Dissipate
• 1 Divine Offering
• 1 Surgical Extraction
• 1 Jace, Memory Adept
• 2 Corrosive Gale
• 1 Revoke Existence
• 2 Timely Reinforcements

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I played Mage-Blade in two FNMs, going 6–0 and 3–1, and in a very painful TCGplayer qualifier (you can probably ask me to elaborate on this story in the comments if you really enjoy other people's pain), and I hated it every step of the way. X–0ing is always nice, but in this case, the only thing I enjoyed about it was earning some respect in the store where I'm still the new kid. Plus, I like being able to brag about it on Facebook.

Unfortunately, I did not enjoy my games at all. All I could think of was, "Instead of buying this, I could have drafted thirty-seven times, not counting the payback . . . "

I decided that maybe Constructed just wasn't for me. Not really a big surprise, all things considered.

Then, one rainy, late March evening, I was bored out of my mind. Having some money to light on fire, I built a "Harvest Pyre + Spiteful Shadows" deck on Magic Online. I just did it for kicks—with fifteen Mountains in my board.

"Harvest Pyre and Spiteful Shadows"

• Creatures (4)
• 4 Delver of Secrets

• Spells (35)
• 2 Desperate Ravings
• 2 Mental Misstep
• 3 Negate
• 4 Forbidden Alchemy
• 4 Harvest Pyre
• 4 Thought Scour
• 4 Faithless Looting
• 4 Gitaxian Probe
• 4 Ponder
• 4 Spiteful Shadows

• Lands (21)
• 1 Swamp
• 7 Mountain
• 9 Island
• 1 Dragonskull Summit
• 3 Drowned Catacomb

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Yeah, it was a terrible, terrible combo deck that died to a single Nihil Spellbomb. But I swear, every time it worked (which was like, once every four games,) I experienced more joy than I thought I could ever get from a Constructed game.

 . . . but it was terrible! I clearly couldn't take it anywhere real.

At that point, however, I'd had a taste of playing an original deck and was resenting my boring, super-popular Delver-Blade abomination. For my next paper tournament—a local win-a-case—I needed something new.

Well, I happen to know someone who is actually a pretty awesome brewer. You probably do, too; his name is Frank Lepore, and he regularly comes up with sweet wacky seventy-fives that somehow work. So the day before the tournament, when I still didn't know what I was going to play, contemplating Harvest Pyre (no, not really), I said I'd play his cool reanimator build if he went undefeated at his FNM . . . 

Of course, he did just that.

"Grites! by Frank Lepore"

• Creatures (7)
• 3 Flayer of the Hatebound
• 2 Gisela, Blade of Goldnight
• 2 Griselbrand

• Planeswalkers (5)
• 2 Sorin, Lord of Innistrad
• 3 Liliana of the Veil

• Spells (23)
• 1 Terminus
• 2 Day of Judgment
• 2 Whipflare
• 3 Unburial Rites
• 4 Faithless Looting
• 4 Lingering Souls
• 3 Oblivion Ring
• 4 Vessel of Endless Rest

• Lands (25)
• 3 Mountain
• 3 Plains
• 4 Swamp
• 2 Clifftop Retreat
• 2 Dragonskull Summit
• 3 Blackcleave Cliffs
• 4 Evolving Wilds
• 4 Isolated Chapel

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I didn't do well with it. It was a very difficult deck to navigate, and I threw away at least as many games to wrong lines as I did to less controllable things such as mana and matchups. But I had so much fun by either playing the nifty Griselbrand/Gisela/Flayer of the Hatebound clique, by being approached to see whether “I am that girl playing that weird Gisela reanimator,” or by trying to figure out all the interesting interactions.

Most frequently, people play rogue decks for one of two reasons. Many enjoy that extra thrill, and they chase the right to claim that they created the winning decks. I'm sure you guys all know that very special fire of piloting your own brew. (If not, you should try it!) Others do it because they are skilled at predicting the metagame and are simply working on maximizing their chances of winning with meta calls of situational cards.

For me, it is not either of the healthy reasons above. It is because I'm not confident in my play skill. Playing a deck that is known to be great is too stressful for me. Running a rogue deck means I'm not competing against incredible results other people have put up with the deck. It means I can write some of my losses off to my deck being a bit too wacky. I'm also terrified of mirror matches because I see them as chess games in which the winner is just plain smarter than the loser, and mirror matches are unlikely to come up if I'm the only player in the room running a deck built around Spiteful Shadows.

In other words, I realized it's less that I want to play cool, unconventional decks and more that I want to avoid playing the known giants because of my persistent fear of failure. And fear is the biggest enemy of progress.

So, I'm going to try to battle it. I'm submitting this article prior to Grand Prix: Anaheim, where I plan to be playing one of the lists that did well in Barcelona—rather than any of my eight five-color-flick-animate-turbo-haste-combo-triple-range brews I've been testing on Cockatrice for the last two weeks. It's ironic that my brave choice is to try to play the known, successful decks, but in this case, irony does not interfere with the integrity of the point.

I challenge you to think about this question and answer yourself honestly: Why do you play the decks you do? I hope all your reasons are good reasons. For example, your decks are the most fun or give you the best shot at winning. But maybe you are like I am, and you let your ego dictate your deck-selection process in a way that hurts you. Or maybe you are the opposite of me, only playing the known decks because you are afraid to fail as a deck designer.

Piloting Matters

Another obstacle came from my belief that Constructed is eighty-five percent about selecting/creating the right deck and fifteen percent about piloting. This misconception comes from having been a Limited-only player for so long before really looking into Constructed. In Limited formats, on any given turn, you have very few reasonable options as to what to sink your mana into.

This belief made the deck-selection process incredibly stressful. Combined with what I talked about above, it was taking away the fun from Constructed, this feeling saying, “It doesn't even matter how much I improve my play skill and concentration; it will always come down to the right deck and who has the right sideboard. It's always going to benefit people who guessed better.”

And then something happened. While playtesting Team Black's Block deck for Grand Prix: Cali, I had this hand after drawing for my first turn:

Forest, Avacyn's Pilgrim, Increasing Savagery, Increasing Savagery, Cavern of Souls, Evolving Wilds, Silent Departure, Invisible Stalker

I looked at it for a few moments, and I smiled to myself. Wow, I thought, it's only turn one, and I may be about to make the decision that will determine the outcome of this game. This is amazing.

Later that week, I read the following words from Gerry Thomson: "As long as you're playing something that isn't much worse than the rest of the field, it shouldn't matter. What does matter is your attitude and how you're able to approach the game."

All of this blew my mind.

Darwin Kastle repeatedly talks about the importance of playing a deck that's your style. I’ve always dismissed it, thinking that it's something lesser, untalented people need to keep in mind. I believed that there was always the right deck to play as well a wrong deck that may be right for you . . . if you suck. I’ve had to revisit my stance on this entirely.

I now believe that once the decks are presented, Constructed games are much more often about outplaying and outwitting your opponents than in Limited games. It makes me really happy and excited about playing Constructed because this means there is so much to strive for. This means that every little improvement in your game and every new intricacy you grasp truly matters.

So while my more established and successful playtest teammates are testing their own decks, I will proudly test the heck out of the top decks from the Pro Tour. And if I do well, I will have deserved it having played my best. And if I don’t, that’s okay; it’s a journey.

I don't know how many of you will be able to relate to my story. Maybe this helped you discover something about yourself. Maybe you smiled and remembered when you were going through the same process. Maybe it was just a story of personal drama for you. In any case, I hope you enjoyed it!

Cheers,

Rada

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