Happy New Year!

Every year I end up with too much "PTO" at work and need to take a few weeks here and there to get back under a set number of hours or I end up losing those hours. I've gotten in the habit of taking the week between Christmas and New Year's Day off, and in recent years I've been able to get a bunch of alters painted during that time.

Today's column is inspired by how awesome it would be to have a deck to run some of those alters in. I'll save my admittedly shoddy artwork for the end, but I'll give you a hint about one of the cards I painted this week. They're funny, or at least they're meant to be funny. My favorite alters are generally either muppets, or are whimsical and humorous in some way. I started altering cards because I wanted to turn a Krosan Drover into a Krosan Grover, and I still can't resist the urge to paint "dad jokes" or references to memes onto cards.

Today's subject is a card none of you would probably want to run as your commander. I'm not sure I really want to run it as a commander, but here we are. This card has a whopping fifteen decks listed over on EDHRec.com, coming in at rank #4,328. If you ever wanted to be a hipster and play a deck nobody else will ever have played or played against, this might be your chance.

Let's check out this bad boy and figure out how to build a deck around him.

Swarm, Being of Bees is a Legendary Insect Villain from the Spider-Man set. He's a 2/2 with flash, flying, and mayhem. Swarm's mayhem cost is one Black mana, and that lets the card be cast out of the graveyard if it was discarded this turn. I can't begin to guess why they didn't give Swarm deathtouch, but the ability to flash in a flying blocker out of the command zone isn't nothing. Mayhem isn't of much use in Commander, as I'm unlikely to have him in my hand, and I'm even less likely to be discarding him. You don't often find yourself discarding your commander when playing EDH. In over 10 years of playing, I can't remember doing it even once.

If you've ever heard of a "kill on sight" commander, Swarm might be the exact opposite of that.

Built-in evasion does give Swarm some potential, but on its own this might be an "ignore on sight" commander. That's not great, but let's make lemonade out of this lemon. Not having an obvious problem in the command zone means we get to build a deck that doesn't really depend upon our commander being in play. I can build in nearly any direction, and I can build a Black goodstuff list that doesn't really telegraph my game plan.

How We Win

This list could have gone in a ton of directions. It could have been a hidden Skithiryx, the Blight Dragon infect deck. I might have thrown in a ton of creatures, loads of boardwipes, and planned around an old favorite like Tombstone Stairwell and finishers like Mirkwood Bats. Aristocrats can be a fun strategy, and edict effects are very powerful, but I decided to lean on commander damage as my first potential way to win games.

Two power isn't much to start with, but Swarm, Being of Bees has flying, and against some decks that can be a huge advantage. Many Goblin and Elf decks will struggle against a flying threat, and if that threat is big enough, you can knock someone out in a few hits. Strata Scythe and Blackblade Reforged will scale up as the game goes on and you play more lands. The former will have you exile a land from your library and you'll get +1/+1 for each land of that type in play - even if they're controlled by an opponent. The latter just looks at the number of lands you control.

Excalibur, Sword of Eden gives +10/+0 and vigilance, but has a whopping 12 mana value and can only be equipped to a legendary creature. That 12 mana cost will be reduced by X where X is the total value of historic permanents I control. This list runs plenty of artifacts, so there will be times when it costs very little or even nothing. I'm running over two dozen artifacts in this list, so Cranial Plating also fits in nicely, giving +1/+0 to the equipped creature for each artifact I control.

I'm also running a few spicier swords to make things interesting. Vorpal Sword gives +2/+0 and deathtouch, and has a fantastic activated ability. For eight mana, three of which must be Black, it can gain the ability to knock a player out of the game if the equipped creature deals combat damage to them. I'm also running Elbrus, the Binding Blade, a flip card that gives +1/+0. That's not much of a boost, but when the equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, I'll unattach Elbrus and transform it into Withengar Unbound. That 13/13 Demon has flying, intimidate, trample, and whenever a player loses the game, it will get thirteen +1/+1 counters put on it.

I'm running a few other pieces of equipment, including Basilisk Collar and Loxodon Warhammer as ways to give lifelink, and both Swiftfoot Boots and Lightning Greaves to help protect my "ignore on sight" commander. I figure once Swarm gets the right equipment, my tablemates might stop ignoring him.

Commander damage works, but I'm running a few other cards that could potentially help me to close out a game.

Boardwipes might not seem like a way to win games, but staying alive is pretty important so they are worth a mention. Damnation and Toxic Deluge should let me help keep other decks from getting out of control and Massacre Wurm can even knock players out. I've both killed opponents and been killed thanks to this Phyrexian Wurm's ability. When it enters play, creatures my opponents control will get -2/-2 until end of turn. Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, they'll lose 2 life. With enough small creatures in play, that can easily turn a huge army into a death sentence for its owner.

I'm running a "big Black mana" subtheme, with cards like Bubbling Muck, Nirkana, Revenant, Crypt Ghast, Nyx Lotus, and Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx to generate extra mana, and finishers like Torment of Hailfire and Exsanguiate to close out the game. I could be running more mana but that would leave less room for a whimsical subtheme, and what's lower powered Commander without whimsical subthemes?

A Swarmy Subtheme

I'll readily admit that I thought about just building a mono-Black insect list, and that might make for a decent bracket 1 build if that's your style. Bracket 1 deckbuilding doesn't excite me, as it usually feels like just leaning into a theme until that theme overwhelms everything else about the deck. Black insects might be fun, and might work well under Swarm, Being of Bees, but to me it's more fun to have a deck that can play in a few different ways.

While I might have resisted the urge to load up on insects, I did throw in my obligatory "whimsical subtheme". In this case, that subtheme probably isn't hard to guess.

There are more than a handful of "swarms" in Magic, and I picked through them and found a few I decided to run in today's list. Bloatfly Swarm is a four mana flying Black Insect Mutant that enters with five +1/+1 counters. If damage would be dealt to this Fallout uncommon while it has a +1/+1 counter on it, I'll prevent that damage, remove that many +1/+1 counters from it, and then give each player a rad counter for each +1/+1 counter removed this way. Rad counters are their own weird thing, and if you play this card you'll want to look up how they work. It's just a google away.

Devouring Swarm is a 2/1 insect with flying that can serve as a sacrifice outlet. For each creature I sacrifice to it, Devouring Swarm will get +1/+1 until end of turn. Swarm of Bloodflies, also in the list, is a little more expensive and arguably better. It's a flying 0/0 insect that enters with two +1/+1 counters. Whenever another creature dies, I'll put a +1/+1 counter on it. Counters are always better than a temporary power/toughness boost, but both are in this list because each of them has Swarm in their name.

I'm also running Battlefly Swarm and Huskburster Swarm, but the most interesting might be Fumulus, the Infestation. This legendary Vampire Insect has flying and deathtouch, along with a few neat party tricks. Whenever a player sacrifices a nontoken creature, I'll create a 1/1 Black insect creature token with flying. Whenever an Insect, Leech, Slug, or Worm I control attacks, the defending player loses 1 life and I'll gain 1 life.

Bracket Two Bees

I'll admit that I do struggle at times to figure out what bracket a deck should fall into. Precon is no longer a useful metric, as precon power levels vary by quite a lot. This list has some powerful cards and strong game plans, but also lacks the kind of commander synergy that even a weak precon is going to bring to a game. I'd probably put this as a bracket two deck, but I can easily imagine it having a game that feels like a bracket three experience if everything goes right.

Swarm, Being of Bees | Commander | Stephen Johnson

• Commander (1)
• 1 Swarm, Being of Bees

• Creatures (20)
• 1 Battlefly Swarm
• 1 Bloatfly Swarm
• 1 Burnished Hart
• 1 Canoptek Scarab Swarm
• 1 Clockwork Fox
• 1 Crypt Ghast
• 1 Devouring Swarm
• 1 Fumulus, the Infestation
• 1 Gray Merchant of Asphodel
• 1 Howling Golem
• 1 Huskburster Swarm
• 1 Massacre Wurm
• 1 Nirkana Revenant
• 1 Pilgrim's Eye
• 1 Ravenous Chupacabra
• 1 Skittering Surveyor
• 1 Solemn Simulacrum
• 1 Swarm of Bloodflies
• 1 Vampire Nighthawk
• 1 Zenith Chronicler

• Instants (10)
• 1 Assassin's Ink
• 1 Corrupted Conviction
• 1 Darkness
• 1 Deadly Rollick
• 1 Flare of Malice
• 1 Snuff Out
• 1 Soul Shatter
• 1 Tragic Slip
• 1 Village Rites
• 1 Withering Torment

• Sorceries (10)
• 1 Bubbling Muck
• 1 Damnation
• 1 Diabolic Tutor
• 1 Exsanguinate
• 1 Feed the Swarm
• 1 Gix's Command
• 1 Mire in Misery
• 1 Morbid Curiosity
• 1 Torment of Hailfire
• 1 Toxic Deluge

• Enchantments (2)
• 1 Dauthi Embrace
• 1 Phyrexian Arena

• Artifacts (18)
• 1 Arcane Signet
• 1 Basilisk Collar
• 1 Blackblade Reforged
• 1 Cranial Plating
• 1 Elbrus, the Binding Blade
• 1 Excalibur, Sword of Eden
• 1 Gilded Lotus
• 1 Jet Medallion
• 1 Lightning Greaves
• 1 Loxodon Warhammer
• 1 Mind Stone
• 1 Nyx Lotus
• 1 Skullclamp
• 1 Sol Ring
• 1 Strata Scythe
• 1 Swiftfoot Boots
• 1 The Darkness Crystal
• 1 Vorpal Sword

• Lands (39)
• 33 Swamp
• 1 Bojuka Bog
• 1 Buried Ruin
• 1 Cabal Coffers
• 1 Cabal Stronghold
• 1 Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx
• 1 Rogue's Passage

Buy This Deck Export text

Whenever I share a lower bracket deck, I like to dig into ways you might power it up. With this list you would probably want to run a few more (and better) tutors, and possibly focus on a more lethal main strategy than killing the table with commander damage from a 2 power commander. That kind of stuff is fine for lower bracket, lower powered, tables, but if you're up against higher powered decks even a ton of removal probably won't be enough to keep up with the rest of the table.

My deckbuilding habits definitely involve leaning on familiar cards and format staples. If you wanted to drop this deck down you might start by dropping out more expensive cards. Once you've done that, you may no longer be comfortable having cards like Torment of Hailfire and Exsanguinate as finishers unless you've somehow managed to keep Cabal Stronghold, Cabal Coffers, Nyx Lotus, Nykthos, Shrine to Nyx, Crypt Ghast, and Nirkana Revenant. I'd probably just start looking at mono-Black insect kindred as my bracket 1 build, to be perfectly honest.

Final Thoughts

Are you still with me? Did you really come along for my deep dive into how I'd build a card as objectively bad in Commander as Swarm, Being of Bees? First - thank you! I never really know how many readers skim a column for the decklist, see a few cards they think are unplayable, and move on to look for a "real" deck tech. If you're a regular reader and like me, you understand that no cards are really "unplayable" or "bad", I'm glad you made it this far.

Swarm, Being of Bees is absolutely fine for lower powered Commander games. It gives you a way to build "good stuff", and it definitely lets you avoid being overly reliant on your commander. It also gives you a flying threat if you choose to build around commander damage as a wincon. None of those are why I chose this for my first column of 2026.

At the start of this column I told you I've been altering cards over the past week. Today's column was inspired by one of those alters, though both can be run in this list.

I love when I get to play an altered commander or just an altered card and get a laugh out of even just one tablemate.

Swarm, Being of Bees, altered with the Nicholas Cage "Wicker Man" meme is more than enough reason to put this list together in paper. I also decided to alter a Vampire Nighthawk as a Vampire in Edward Hopper's famous painting "Nighthawks." I don't think I'm a great alterist by any stretch of the imagination, but I'll only get better by keeping at it. These alters are just that - fun excuses to paint a few more cards, challenge my abilities, and have a little fun. I might build Swarm in paper, and I may someday even sell them. Either way, I'm happy to share them with you here, and hopefully you found them amusing.

I wouldn't expect to see my alters here that often, but when it makes sense to include one I will do so. I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and a fantastic 2025. With any luck, 2026 will be even better!

That's all I've got for today. Thanks for reading and I'll see you next week!